6 Steps To True Healing After A Breakup

The phone rings and you hear the dreaded words "We need to talk." Then you get the knock on the door, your significant other comes in, and everything spirals down from there. The next thing you know, you're hearing "We just aren't connecting the way we need to be" or something similar to that. Whatever the specific phrase is, someone has just broken up with you.

Let's face it, it's never good to hear any form of the words "We need to breakup." If you are hearing those words, though, then you need to know two things. First, you need to know that this happens every day to people (and not just you). Second, and more importantly, you need to know that you can and will feel better. So let's talk about what you can do to not just temporarily feel better, but to really get over a breakup. Here are 6 steps to get you totally over a breakup.

1. Ditch The "Poor Me" Syndrome: The first thing you need to do is to stop thinking about all the things you could have done to prevent the breakup. Don't think about that one time you didn't call, or about whatever you're thinking about in this mental mind game through which will be tempted to put yourself. Instead, really think about why the relationship didn't work out. There is no one particular event from the past that if you changed it would change the breakup outcome. Breakups are the result of a series of events. So dig deep and think about what this relationship was really about, so that you can embrace the lessons it has for you. Don't beat yourself up about it.


2. Avoid The Alcohol: Right after a breakup, it may make you feel better to go out drinking with your friends and 'trash talk' your ex. The next morning, however, you are going to actually feel even worse. Your friends have great intentions. It would be better for you, however, to go out with your friends and do something fun that doesn't involve alcohol. Spend the time with your friends really talking about how you feel and having your friends listen.


3. Go Ahead And Grieve: It's perfectly alright to grieve after a breakup. It's actually healthy to cry and to grieve when a relationship ends. So don't be hard on yourself if you want to spend a week crying your eyes out and being really sad. It's really is quite healthy to get all of that out of your system. The people who suppress all their feelings about a breakup and never allow themselves to grieve are the ones who will never learn the lessons they need to learn from the experience.


4. Put It Down On Paper: Do some journaling and write down all the things you're thinking and feeling about the breakup. After you've shared your feelings with yourself for a few days, you'll start to notice that you are feeling better. You will be better able to discover the deeper issues that caused the relationship to end. You will also learn what lessons there were for you in that relationship, and become much more clear on what you really want and need in a relationship. So start journaling and start being really honest with yourself.


5. Don't Give In To "The Replacement Theory": There are many people who mistakenly believe that the best way to get over someone is by finding someone else to replace them. I call this "The Replacement Theory" of dealing with a breakup. Unfortunately, this strategy will not help you really get over a breakup, and may actually cause you more pain in the future. Do not start dating someone new too soon after a breakup. Do not start looking for the next relationship before you've taken the time to get over the one that just ended. The people who start dating too fast after a breakup usually end up repeating the same failed relationships over and over again. This actually leads me right into my last step.


6. It's All About You: After a breakup, spend at least thirty days just doing things that you love. Connect with friends. Take long walks. Go and work out at the gym. Do whatever it is that you really enjoy. Do things that are good for you. This time should be spent getting yourself healthy and embracing yourself.

Breakups are hard, but it's in the aftermath of a breakup that our greatest lessons are learned. If we can learn the real issues that caused the breakup, then we won't repeat the same failed relationship again. So stop blaming yourself and start looking deep inside yourself. When you do that, you will not just "deal" with a breakup. You will truly get over it.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

Alpha Male Qualities That Easily Attract Women

The easiest way to pick up women is to have alpha male qualities. It is hands down the fastest way to turn the tables and get girls chasing you. Every man has it within him to become the alpha. It is a part of our DNA and part evolution. This is real science here, not some made up mumbo jumbo trying to teach you outdated techniques. If you become alpha your interaction with women goes up by automatically. So how do you become the alpha?

I've broken it down into 3 key traits. These traits are at the core of what it means to be a real man.

Alpha male quality 1

Confidence is the first thing that an alpha male must have. Without confidence there is no alpha. Real men don't care what others think about them. They know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it. You can see the confidence in the body language.

I like to call it supreme confidence. And remember, supreme confidence isn't just pure ego. There is a way to be cocky with a woman and have her loving every minute of it, but this isn't it. It isn't bragging so much as it is about not worrying. Have you ever heard the phrase "never let them see you sweat", that is what this means. That is the confidence that an alpha male must have.

It might be natural, but this confidence can be learned. So don't ever forget that.

Alpha male quality 2

An alpha male is a leader. Leadership is really key and women love it. This also comes back to evolution. Women have a built in desire and need to be led. They are looking to their man to fill that leadership role. This is what you must fill for them.

How many times do you hear a woman complain about her man? Don't give her room to complain. Take care of your loose ends. That is what a leader does. He makes sure his business is handled. Women love alpha males because they know that they won't have to worry. You may not find it sexy, but you are a man and we think different. Just accept it. Trust me.

And you should know that leadership can be learned.

Alpha male quality 3

Alpha males are funny. They understand how to use humor to put a woman at ease. And when a woman is at ease it becomes so much easier to get her into bed. Your humor needs to be mixed with a healthy dose of confidence. This is what we refer to as cockiness.

Cockiness mixed with humor is a great weapon in seducing a woman. It shows that you have a brain. If you tease a girl while flirting with her it does two things. It raises your status up above theirs and it triggers a feeling in her mind. That feeling is really important to turning a woman on. And that feeling is one of confusion.

Why? Because every other time a guy was flirting with her, he did whatever she wanted, like a lapdog. Humor sets yourself apart from these other guys.

Some guys are naturally funny, but humor can be learned. Don't forget that.

These 3 qualities are what makes up a true alpha. If you have these qualities or are willing to work on getting these qualities then it becomes so much easier to get hotter women in your life. Every man has the potential to be alpha male. It is a part of our chemistry.

If you want a better life you need to become the alpha male. This will be the best change you can make if you want a better life.

Alphas have more success, not just with women, but with every part of life. There is more to being an alpha male than just these 3 qualities, but they make up the bedrock of being a man.

This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.

Breaking Up Without Breaking Down

During Memorial Day weekend, I had a heart-to-heart with someone very dear to me who will remain anonymous. We talked about love, relationships and a certain young man she has feelings for--dare I say love? Well, one of the things I shared with her is the importance of guarding her heart, something I wish I had done years ago.

Had I done that, it would have saved me a lot of heartache.

I remember being completely smitten and wrapped up in this one guy.

I couldn't even imagine what I would do if our existence as a couple came to an abrupt end, though I would eventually find out. At the time, I was living in a new city, only knew his friends and family, and was completely dependent upon him for companionship. Consequently, when our relationship crumbled, so did my world. I literally felt like I didn't know what to do, or where in the world I belonged.

I was left heartbroken and emotionally distraught. My feelings were poured out, spilled onto the floor, and trampled over.I didn't know how to move on from years of hearing "I love you" and basking in romantic moments spent with my one and only love. Instead of saying, "Oh well, God has someone better," I was crying and saying, "My life is over!"

It took a long time for me to see myself as a single woman who could stand on her own two feet. I was pretty shaken up. Apparently, I'm not the only one who has experienced this. After having come through that most unpleasant season in my own life, I'd like to share a few things I learned that I believe will be helpful to you.

Never Lose Yourself In a Relationship. I once made the mistake that many women make: building their lives around a man. Although breakups are naturally difficult to handle, they especially hurt when you put so much of your heart, mind, and soul, into a relationship. That's why your wholeness cannot be dependent upon a "love connection."

Because, in the event that a sweet relationship turns bitter, if you lost yourself in that union somewhere along the way, you'll find it nearly impossible to move on. That chapter of your life will have ended, but you will remain stuck in a time long since passed, and won't be able to turn the page. So ask God to make you whole within first. Then you won't lose yourself, your identity, your individuality, or confidence, even if you lose that relationship.

You are worth more. After I came out of a bad relationship, I was lied to and mistreated so badly, I second-guessed my worthiness to even have a good man. Sadly, I wasn't sure I truly deserved to be with a mate who would love me as Christ loved the church, according to Ephesians 5:25. It took a lot of time, but during my healing process, God began revealing to me how valuable I was to Him. Once He renewed my mind, I was finally able to reject the vicious lies that framed me as an unworthy woman who would always have failing relationships. You shouldn't accept such falsehoods either. Instead, trust that you are worth far more than rubies. It doesn't matter what your ex put you through. Ignore it and believe what the Lord says about you. And God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Guard your heart. I don't promote going out with every Jim-Bob that comes your way. Excessive dating, or feeling the need to always be in a relationship, is unhealthy. Sometimes, it's better to take a break from dating and get your life together so you'll be prepared when love comes your way. Even when you meet men who seem really nice, I caution you to guard your heart. Everyone's intentions are not right, so don't allow everyone who says "I love you," or "You're beautiful," to sweep you off your feet so quickly. I admit it; I did that. And it was a mistake. If he wrote me poetry, sent me flowers and told me why he thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world, I was putty in his hands. Try not to be that way. Accept compliments and kind words for what they are, but don't allow them to put you so high on a cloud that you forget to pray about the one delivering those compliments. Everyone you meet doesn't deserve your heart.

The Pain Won't Last Forever. After being emotionally invested in a relationship that ends badly, the experience can be pretty jolting. It's normal to feel like your world has been shattered. Whether he cheated, lied, walked away, or moved on as a part of a mutual decision, the fact remains, he broke your heart in a million pieces. But know this. Your heart can and will be pieced back together again. The pain will go away. Your internal wounds will heal. With the help of the Lord, you'll bounce back as a thriving single woman. And when the time (and the person) is right, you will enter into a healthy relationship. In the interim, spend time praying and seeking God for deliverance from any brokenness and baggage. He has the power to restore your joy, peace, and faith in true love.

I know a breakup can feel like a devastating blow, but you can go through it without completely breaking down mentally, emotionally, or physically. When you know who you are, what you're worth, and what God says about you, you can live your life with joy-single or attached.

During you in-between times, the most important thing is, knowing God has a plan for you.

This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.

10 Great Truth Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Keeping your relationship strong can rely on complete honesty from both sides. Here are 10 questions to ask your girlfriend or boyfriend that can test their truthfulness without causing relationship problems. This relationship advice can help you avoid heart ache:

1) Ask your girlfriend or boyfriend if they think you are sexy. This is a simple question, but also a powerful one. If they give you a one or two word answer, follow it up by asking why. You should get a feel from their response how they truly feel about you. If you get a response like, "Well, I'm with you aren't I?", this could be a flag that you need to work on your relationship.

2) "if you could get back with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend, would you?" The important thing is to pay careful attention to how the question is answered here. 99% of the time, the answer will be no even if it were not true. But, if your girlfriend/ boyfriend tries to change the subject quickly, this could mean that they are not telling you the whole story.

3) If something happened between us, would you get back together with me? This should start a conversation between the two of you. You may be able to learn more about each other from this conversation.

4) Would you leave me if I were bound to a wheel chair? Your guy or gal should be100% supportive if you were to be in a situation like this.

5) What color are my eyes? This will show you how much your girlfriend or boyfriend pays attention to you. If your relationship is strong, you should know this about each other.

6) Did you miss me? After being away from each other for awhile, your girlfriend or boyfriend should be quick to show you that they miss you. If this is not the case, it may mean that there is something else going on.

7) If you could be with any other guy/ girl, who would it be and why? This is a tough one, but should be answered only by stating that you are the only person that they want to be with.

8) Would you move on if I died? If so, how long would it take? Another loaded question that should spark some conversation that could help you to get to know each other in new ways.

9) What are 3 words that you would use to describe me? Hopefully they are nice words....

10) If we were in a car accident and you had the choice to save yourself or to save me, what would you choose?

Most of the questions are designed to spark conversation to help you learn more about each other is very different ways. You should be able to tell if there is dishonesty by awkward pauses, changing the topic quickly, and avoiding the question all together. Get back your girlfriend or boyfriend, and draw them closer to you by discovering new things about each other.

Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

Signs of an Affair - What to Look Out For

Is your partner having an affair? Do you suspect you partner of having an affair, but you don't know if you are reading the signs correctly? What are the signs of an affair?

Unfortunately, most affairs don't come with blinking lights that let you know immediately when your partner has strayed. You may have to read between the lines in order to determine if an affair is going on or not. There are signs of an affair, but be sure to examine them closely before you accuse your partner of straying on your marriage.

Need for Privacy

If your spouse has always been open about having you around as they are online or have always been willing to share and this suddenly changes, it could be a sign of an affair. They may not want you near the computer or say they need some time to themselves and are coming to bed later. All of these are signs that something may be amiss. If your spouse suddenly changes passwords on the computer, erasing their history or hides bills, these could be a red flag as well.

Work Habits Change

If your partner has never traveled for work before, but all of a sudden must be gone for extended periods of time, this is also a sign of an affair. A change in work habits may also include saying they have to stay at work well after closing time or working odd hours.

Change in Computer Habits

The internet has made it easier than ever before to stray in a marriage. It is easy to meet someone else online and develop a relationship without ever leaving home. If your partner's computer habits suddenly change, this is also a typical sign of an affair. While it might not be a physical affair, an emotional one can be just as damaging to a relationship. Be sure to take note of how much time your spouse spends online and what they are doing in cyberspace.

Odd Behavior

Take note of any odd behavior of your spouse. If you notice that there are parts of their day that just don't add up, they aren't where they said they were going to be or if there is missing time, it may be a sign of an affair. Money missing out of a checking or savings account is also a classic sign. If you happen to notice receipts from strange shops or restaurants, this could also be a red flag. If you find your partner suddenly buying a lot of new clothes or not being totally forthcoming about their day, this should be a warning sign as well.

Intuition

Be sure to listen to your gut. If something doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. If you find yourself trying to come up with excuses regarding your spouse's behavior or are trying to convince yourself that they wouldn't cheat, this is not a good sign. If you suspect an affair, talk with your spouse and find out what is going on. Be prepared for lies, but ask for honesty and approach the situation in a calm manner.

Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.

This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.

Creative Ways To Ask A Boy Out Without Telling Him Directly

These days, it's not all too uncommon to find girls coming up with the most creative ways to ask a boy out. No longer do they have to wait for a guy to call or for someone to ask them out.

Thanks to various feminist movements over the years, women are now more empowered and are going after what they want (or in this case, who they want).

You, too, can try these creative ways to ask a boy out. Read on to find out how!

Tip # 1: Use Social Media.

Thanks to technology, you can now send your messages directly to the guy you like. And with social media, it's not too difficult to do that anymore.

If you have a Facebook or Twitter account, then the person you want to ask out probably has one as well. Why don't you take advantage of this and ask him out via Facebook?

From his account alone, you at least have an idea of what he enjoys doing and who he hangs out with.

Tip # 2: Assign Him A Specific Ring Back Message.

One of the more creative ways to ask a boy out is to come up with a specialized ring back tone he can listen to whenever he calls you.

One girl did this by recording a customer service type of message that went like this: "You have reached (your name). If you know the extension number, please dial it now. Otherwise, press one if you want to ask her out for dinner; press two if you want to send her a bouquet of flowers; press three if you want to pay her a visit."

Tip # 3: Make Him Answer A Survey.

Women who come up with creative ways to ask a boy out know that nothing is ever certain. However, since they are willing to take a chance for what could turn out to be a wonderful relationship, they end up reaping the best results.

One girl had the idea to pose a survey questionnaire to the guy she liked. The questions were supposedly about the perfect date; but at the end of the questionnaire, there was a question, "Will you go out with me this weekend? Yes or No." Needless to say, this girl got her date.

These are just some of the creative ways to ask a boy out. As you gain more confidence, you will surely have a few more to add to this list.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.

How To Get A Girls Number - The Three Methods

The debate on how to get a girls number is quite interesting. It goes from playing flirty but elusive, to being very direct...quick approach - quick exit. So I'm going to list for you all the different ways that I have found, then I am going to give you my pick (or opinion).

First I feel you need to understand that not all women are alike (if you haven't noticed). We are as varied as men are on how we feel about the whole dating scene. You will find shy girls, confident girls, conceited, stuck-up, friendly, you name it and I'm sure there is a girl type out there that will match it. So not all women are going to react the same when you approach them for their number. But to be successful with the majority of women you need to fit the general mold that most women find attractive. It's almost guaranteed that most women will be open to sharing their number with a confident, attractive man. Now if you don't feel that you are confident or attractive enough to get a girls number, then you might want to do a little research on what a woman finds attractive or confident. Then do what you can to attain that. And just a small note here...attractive is usually a self-assured and confident demeanor, not always looks.

The second thing you might need to work on is your fear of approaching a woman or fear of rejection, they go hand-in-hand. There is a lot of information out there to help you with this. My suggestion is to stop thinking that there are only a few women out there and that if one should turn you down your life is over. The dating scene is loaded with single, lonely women, looking for someone just like you are. So make a game of it. Stop trying to get a number or a date seriously and just play at getting it. Don't take it seriously and don't let it depress you if you don't make a connection, remember, this is only a game right now. Try some of the steps below and see what one works for you. Make it a game to see how many numbers or emails you can get. Then when your confidence grows take the one that works best for you and do it for real. So let's check out the many methods of how to get a girls number.

Get Her Interested First-The Slow Approach

Some people think that the first thing you must do is to get her interested in you first. This is the slow approach. The best way to do this is to flirt first, you know that occasional look across the room with a smile, eye contact, the slow approach after eye contact has been made. A compliment on something that you noticed about her (don't make it cheesy, be sincere) should make it easier to ask her for a dance, or to try to open up a conversation with her. Don't play desperate, try to show a little self confidence. And don't hang around, make an exit and come back later and do it again. By then you should know if she is willing to spend some time with you. At that point you can ask for her number or email address. Don't ask her for a date, just imply that you would like to contact her at some later date to just chat. If she is hesitant at all then don't pursue it, you know where she goes, you can try again next time. Move on to someone else and improve you skill at this and your confidence in approaching women.

Hit And Run - The Fast Approach

Some men think that this is the best way to get a girls number or email, and it goes something like this. You immediately approach a woman that you are interested in (or for practice, any girl or woman). Always approach with a smile, tell her that you noticed her ("I couldn't help noticing how beautiful you are, and I would love to talk to you...etc...), but act as if you are in a hurry to do something or go somewhere, let her know that you would like to chat but that you have a business meeting, (appointment, need to meet someone, need to take someone somewhere, etc...) and then ask if she would mind giving you her number or email address so that you could get back to her sometime and to have a pen and paper handy and hand it to her. They say that most women will just give it to you without hesitation. (?!!)

I have personally never experienced this one, but the theory goes that if you don't give a woman a chance to react that more times then not they will hand over their number. Wow! You have nothing to lose, so give it a try. It's also suggested to have your cell phone ready to punch her number in right there. Good luck with this one. I personally think that you really need to be radiating self-confidence and be basically handsome for this one to work. But give it a try.

Forget The Number, Just Get The Email

Then there is the theory that if you just ask for their email address your chances for success are very good. That for some odd reason most women have not hesitancy giving out their email address, where as giving out the phone number is more intimate, personal. And that could be with the on line social thing going on that everybody is doing. Maybe ask for her twitter or Face Book address. People do like fans and friends. Yes, I can see how this one would work, we are a social world.

What Works For Me

Personally, being a woman, I like the slow approach. I like to know that the person I give my number to is someone I would like to see again. When I was dating, if a guy I didn't care for asked for my number, I would turn it around and tell him no... but that I would love to have his number. Now I can't say that that was the right thing to do, but it worked for me at the time. It got them off my back without hurting their feelings.

This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.