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Why You're Still Single: You're Unknowingly Limiting Your Lifestyle
How to Get a Guy to Like You - 4 Must-Remember Tips
Relationship Advice for Men - The Neediness Phenomenon Why Most Relationships Fail (It's Inevitable)
Relationship Wisdom: Stonewalling Versus Criticising
In an intimate relationship there are common dynamics of interactions. One of them I deal with in couple clients is the stonewalling versus criticising dynamic. This dynamic is one that can become entrenched in a couple's engagement with each other and lead to severe dissatisfaction with the relationship.
What relationship research shows
Relationship expert Dr John Gottman, who researched couples for the past 40 years, has coined the term of the 'Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships', which lead to marital disaster. Two of the four steps are criticism and stonewalling.
According to his research 85% of men are stonewallers where the majority of women are critics. Stonewalling means that the person disengages from the conversation, pretending to still be part of it by being physically present, but giving minimal verbal feedback. Energetically the person has already left the interaction.
The stonewalling-critic dynamic
Often when there is a critic (usually but not exclusively women) and a skilled stonewaller the dynamic quickly starts to run and leads into an unhealthy cycle where one role feeds the other.
The critic starts sending out messages, which might not even be criticism at the beginning. The stonewaller starts to engage as he is usually very sensitive to being criticised and hears any comment as critical. To avoid any further comments or interactions, he intensifies the 'dis-engagement'. This infuriates the critic as all she wants is for him to at least engage and say something. In this moment, the critic might up the ante and actually say something critical, just to get a reaction. At this point the stonewaller will shut down the interactions until the situation has cooled down again.
Influences of personalities
Depending on the personalities involved in this dynamic and how long it takes one or the other to cool down and whether and when they are ready to lead into repair mechanism this dynamic can either very quickly lead into a spiral downward to marital disaster or just be a repeated pattern of a relationship.
Especially when stress levels are up, it is more likely for this dynamic to endanger the relationship as none of the two might have much energy left to lend a hand and start to climb back up to martial harmony.
The way out of the dynamic
Depending on the level of self-awareness and reflection, a couple will easily be able to work together towards harmony. Often what it needs is the ability to allow vulnerability and openness to let each other in what is going on for each side of the dynamic. This especially requires the critic to let go or tone down criticism and for the stonewaller to be ready to engage and be open.
If you as a coupe encounter challenges when trying to repair, make sure to ask a trained and unbiased professional for help.
Is Your Definition of Love a Mismatch With Your S.O.?
Even professional women can't always translate some men's way they might try to express love, so they feel they are truly loved. It may seem funny to people, who may have been in a committed relationship like marriage for many years that they still might not receive a message of love the way it is being communicated by the lover.
Five different ways some men communicate they care.
1) "Honey, I changed the oil in your car this morning" is an example of showing love by doing something the other feels is special or in this case is keeping his special lady safe.
2) "I love you", is what many women want to hear-often, not just on Valentine's Day.
3) Greets you with a hug, kiss and a look that says "I love you" is for women who like to be touched in a caring way. Caution gentlemen: please be sure to be gentle and that it does not mean you just want sex.
4) Brings you flowers/candy or some other thoughtful gift he knows you like. Giving gifts, again not just on holidays can reassure some women they are loved.
5) Pre-plans a special getaway or just some time alone with his one and only, making sure there are no interruptions. Some women find spending time with them really shows the relationship is important to their men.
What can go wrong do you think if a man's way to show love is not the same way the woman wants to be reassured she is loved? Bet you can guess she may feel he really doesn't love her, at least not as much as she may love him.
How to bridge the love language gap!
It may sound simple, but actually asking a spouse/significant other how they would like you to show you love her is the best suggestion I have for men. Since there are two people in the relationship, I also invite the woman to ask him how he prefers to be shown he is loved. Some men might surprise you by asking you to cook his favorite meal on a holiday, or tell him you love him! I believe as women we sometimes want a person who has committed to us to read our minds. Ever have a friend tell you that her husband should know after five (or more) years what she wants to prove his continuing love?
Clear communication how you want your significant other to show love can bridge the gap if his language of love is different from yours! Remember also he might have the same challenge of expecting you to know what he needs, so ask him how you can let him know he is still your one and only!
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Do You Need Help Winning Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
Some women are lucky enough not to encounter any trouble when trying to win their ex boyfriends back. This is mostly because they know exactly what they want, so they approach the process with confidence and end up back in their ex lovers' arms as if nothing tore them apart to begin with. Not every woman is that confident, though. In fact, most women are clueless and worried when it comes to trying to win their ex back.
So, if you are a woman and you need a confidence boost in winning your ex boyfriend back, then here are several suggestions that may come in handy for you:
1. Talk about your feelings through song.
If you have no idea what to say when winning your ex boyfriend back, then try to use songs to tell him how you feel. If you can sing well, then sing him a song. If you can't, then ask somebody else to do it or just play the songs on a media player of some sort, or share a playlist with him through the Internet.
2. Get emotional through text.
Text messages would be another great tool in winning your ex boyfriend back because they can help you tell him how you truly feel. Texts would be especially helpful if you find yourself tongue-tied whenever you actually see your ex in person because nothing will hold you back if you get to process your words and thoughts beforehand. The best part is that you can change your words as needed before sending your text messages, as well.
3. Get friends to help you out.
If you think that your chances of winning your ex boyfriend back are incredibly low at the moment, then you might want to turn to some of your most trusted friends for help. If you and your ex have common friends, then ask one of them to help you win him back. You need to be very careful when it comes to this, though. Ideally, you should make sure that your common friend understands you and only has your best interests at heart. See, if you end up contacting a common friend who sides with your ex, then things could get even worse for you than they already are. In other words, just be very careful in terms of who you trust and what you do. This will ensure that you are met with the utmost success in the end.
Flowers for Her
This article is for all those people who are confused about what to get for their special ladies as gifts. Buying gifts for her can be quite tricky. Sometimes, you may just wish to take her shopping, letting her purchase what she feels like. But that ruins the element of surprise that makes gifts truly exciting. Whatever you choose for the special lady, never forget to add flowers. Flowers are rarely disliked. They should not be the only gift, but they should be one of the gifts. But, even finding the perfect flowers is an arduous task. You need to know what she likes. After all, the flowers are meant for her. So, the first thing to do is to find out what flowers she likes. A lot of times, the flowers may just be something that is associated with a special memory. You can also consider if she would like to keep the flowers you give in the house, will they go with the interior decor? If you still are unable to figure out what flowers to get, then you should just get flowers that signify love or beauty, whatever you want to convey.
White roses look absolutely stunning. Their pristine beauty also conveys purity. Get full bloom or rose buds, whatever you feel is more suitable. But if you want to convey purity, then there cannot be any flower more suitable than white roses. But if you want to go for flowers that are less predictable, then you can get white lilies or gardenias. The color white is important. It's the color that makes the flowers signify purity. If you want to tell her about your passionate love for her, then red should be the color of the flowers, nothing else. Red roses, red tulips, red peonies, red ambrosia, etc. Again, the color matters more. Red was and will always be associated with love. So there's not going wrong with the color. Get roses for her if you think she likes them, but sometimes, going with uncommon flowers can get you brownie points too. If you want to gift flowers to your friends, then you would definitely know her favorite flowers. But, if you don't, then you can get her pink or yellow roses, or carnations and even orchids. These are also perfect if you want to congratulate someone for a job well done or for a promotion. Orchids are exotic, fashionable flowers, and they may be the right choice for an occasion like a house-warming party, or an after party. For children, the best flowers are rose buds or sunflowers. Sunflowers are adorable flowers and your daughter might just love their vibrancy.
Once you have made up your mind about the flowers, you have to decide how it should be wrapped. Do you it to be wrapped with glitters, in shiny, decorative paper or do you want it to be given in a simple bouquet. When you are deciding all this, think in terms of the woman the flowers are meant for. Personalizing the bouquets by adding a message or a small gift should make the flowers just perfect. There is nothing more heartening than a personalized bouquet.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Dating Advice For Men - F Is for Friend Zone
Competition Is Never a Blueprint for Living
Tragedy and Reflection - A Spiritual Perspective
When Dating, Keep Your Eye on the Prize
If you are dating or new to the singles scene and thinking about dating, let me ask you this: What are your goals? Are you looking for a life partner? Companionship? A fun sexual relationship? Close your eyes and take a moment to focus on this. When an answer comes to you, read on.
If you've had difficult dating experiences, dating can feel like a hassle; and thus it's easy to lose sight of why you're doing it in the first place. Meeting new people and trying new things can be very satisfying and fun, especially when you're feeling the best about yourself, doing things you enjoy, and-particularly when it feels like a hassle- reminding yourself of your own unique goal. Feeling good about yourself while dating is not always easy. Most have found themselves-sometimes even routinely- in less than perfect dating situations. There's no need to put yourself down when you hit a few road bumps. Instead, reach within to access internal sources of strength to make your dating life the best it can be.
Dating works best for you when you are feeling good about yourself. One reason dating can sometimes be difficult might be because of the negative messages you tell yourself that interfere with your ability to feel your best when connecting with a new person. What are the negative messages you tell yourself that take away from feeling your best? These messages may be related to what you believe dating will be like ("I won't have fun" or "It will be a waste of time.") Other messages may be related to the singles scene ("there are no good wo/men out there. Everyone good is already taken!") Negative self-talk also can be about fear of rejection ("I won't be able to handle rejection") or feeling not great about yourself ("I am not attractive enough"). Whatever flavor of negative self-talk you participate in, you no longer need to fall victim to the voices inside your head. For every negative message you hold there's a positive one you can access to make dating even more enjoyable!
It is natural to have "collected" some negative messages through bad dating experiences and when these messages sound a little bit too loud, it is time to consider using some tools to turn those speakers down. Think about some of the beliefs or attitudes you have about yourself that get in your own way; and make a commitment to attack them forcefully and head-on!
A very effective way to defeat that negative voice in your head is to write down a list of these self-defeating beliefs, words, or attitudes that affect your ability to feel good while dating. Include all of the ways that you put yourself down. Next, read each item to yourself one by one and come up with a positive affirmation that opposes the negative message about yourself. Challenge those negative beliefs by asking yourself, "Is this completely true?" For example, if you tell yourself "I am not attractive enough," write down all of the evidence against this statement. If you listed "there is no one good out there", remind yourself that you are out there dating, aren't you?! If your fear is about your ability to handle rejection, write down "Nothing really consequential will happen to me if I am rejected and- in fact by being rejected-I may even prove to myself that I don't need to fear rejection in the future." If you are sure you won't have fun or will be wasting your time, you can add to your list "I may even meet someone I'd like to see again (!)."
After coming up with your positive affirmations, or pieces of positive self-talk, write them down on index cards to keep around your home, in your wallet or in your car. Don't only look at these before attempting to go out to meet someone or going on a date! Look at these affirmations regularly or at least on a daily basis so that they become your new thinking habits. As you practice internalizing these positive and factual messages, eventually you'll almost certainly find that the positive ones become automatic and triumphantly replace those obsolete negative ones-permanently!
Remember-you are dating for a reason! Have fun! And when dating isn't as fun as you'd like, remember to use this tool, or some of the others that I offer in my book Stage Climbing: The Shortest Path to Your Highest Potential.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Reconciling With Your Husband
Online Dating Success Rate
How to Make Your Online Dating Quest More Successful
Different Forms of Online Dating Sites
How to Ask a Girl Out Over Text
In the 21st century it is not unheard of to ask a girl out via text messaging. Gone are the days of calling or arriving on her doorstep with hat in hand and asking.
In fact, these days, texting for a date can save a great deal of time. Imagine a guy has met a girl some place; he is interested, she is interested but each person has other commitments for a few days and thus unable to meet.
In this type of scenario, a text invitation would be most convenient. There also less shock should the girl reject an invitation to go out. Guys feel embarrassed when, after asking a girl for a date, she politely refuses.
It is worse when she rejects him in front of his friends; with a text invitation, no one need know. Men do not like rejection and thus if a guy is going to text an invitation to a girl, he must word the text correctly.
A man should never write a cursory note to a girl like she is one of his buddies, is not going to score him any points, regardless of whether she is interested or not.
Clearly, there are advantages to texting a girl asking for a date and as mentioned, above, it is becoming the norm rather than the exception.
Guys, however, need to seriously consider how to ask a girl out over text before sending it. Obviously this text request is for the first date and thus very important. One silly mistake and a guy may see the girl of his dreams reject him.
So, let's assume this "date asking text" is a follow-up text to the first one sent after meeting the girl. The guy can sense, through her replies, that she is interested in him and now he is ready to ask her out.
The first thing he needs to do is figure out where he is going to take her. Will it be a movie, a romantic dinner followed by a show or concert? This is very important. Just sending a text asking her out is not enough.
She will quite possibly ask, "Where are we going?" She does not want, or need, to read a guy's return text with simply the word "Pub".
Deciding the place to go should be based on what she likes to do. The guy should know her likes and dislikes from their initial meeting - men don't have a choice at this stage of a relationship.
Once the venue is decided the guy must them draft the text he is going to send. Now, it must be short, to the point and understandable. Do not discombobulate her with too many details.
Guys who intend on driving their date to some place should ask where and how they will meet the girl.
For the guys who don't own a vehicle or perhaps have lost their license then perhaps arranging to meet at some well-known place is the only option.
I suppose he could ride over to her house or apartment on a bicycle and spend the evening staring at a TV screen but that is not really a date, is it? If a guy is planning an afternoon excursion to the mountains or a river/beach some place, he should recommend that the girl dress appropriately.
Men should always remember that women dress, not only for a man but also for the venue.
How to ask a girl out over text messaging does not require any special skills just some common sense. Any guy following the above ideas will, I'm sure, have an excellent night or day out.
Finally, make sure that what you write is correct. Do not be lazy and send a text filled with grammar and spelling mistakes. Good luck.
How to Flirt Effectively With a Woman - Tips for Making Her Feel Connected to You
The best flirting that a guy can do is the kind that really makes a woman feel like she is connected to him. If you want to know why some guys can seem to have nothing but success with women, it is usually because they know how to make a woman feel an instant sense of connection with them. Of course, just knowing that this is something that you want to be able to do doesn't mean that you are actually going to be able to do it. This article is going to show you some tips on how you can flirt with a woman so that she does start to feel a connection with you.
Here are a few tips for flirting effectively with a woman:
1) A shared joke can go a long way towards building rapport with a woman.
If you can, try to find something that you and her have in common that you can joke about. It doesn't have to be the best joke ever, just something that both of you can relate to in a funny way. For example, if you find out that you both have pretty monotonous jobs, that is something that you can joke about and it is something that you both have in common.
2) Connect with her through the eyes.
This really is one of the best ways to make a woman feel like she has made a rare connection with you. If you ask most women, they will almost all say that they do pay attention to a guy's eyes. Thankfully, if you perfect your gaze, you don't have to have those dreamy blue eyes that you think you have to have to really connect with a woman.
3) Use a little physical contact when you are flirting with her.
People that know each other tend to touch each other in certain ways when they are talking. Well, at least if they really feel like they share a connection with one another they will. If you want to make her feel that way when she is around you, don't be afraid to use a little bit of physical contact. Sometimes something as simple as a hand on her shoulder while you are looking at her is all you have to do.
You really do need to know how to flirt with a woman if you are looking to get better in general as far as dating goes. A man who doesn't know how to make a woman feel like she is connected to him is a man who is probably going to be spending some alone time, if you know what I mean.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
How to Seduce Women Online - You Can't Be Shy About Meeting in Person
Am I Happy?
Free Web Chat Website: For Those Who Love To Share Thoughts
Life is too short to feel alone and sad, and therefore, we all must enjoy every moment of it. When you are sitting in your room, bored and sad, online chatting through a free web chat website can very well be the best solution for feeling better.
In the present time, webcam chats or free online video chat is the trendiest way of meeting new people and catching up with friends and family. In fact, thanks to free web chat website, individuals are becoming more socially active. Moreover, internet connectivity is now found in almost every corner of the world. The web has become a wonderful mode of entertainment for many of us and offers a brilliant platform for all kinds of official as well as social meet-ups.
With the globalization of the web, a large number of people have started using options such as free video chatting, webcam chatting and free cam chatting. Perhaps this is the reason the number of online chat websites is increasing by the day.
There are various advantages of free online video chatting. These are inclusive of:
- It acts as an escape from your routine life
- You get a chance to meet new people
- It proves to be a great stress buster
- You can meet somebody who can become your special one
- You can share your opinion and thoughts with other people
- You can see the people you converse with and connect with them easily
Both men and women are members of these websites and enjoy leisure time in knowing each other. Online video chatting offers one of easiest options to meet somebody, who can turn out to be a great friend or even your life partner.
If you are interested in becoming a part of free video chat rooms and enjoying cam to cam conversation for free, then you need to find a reliable Free web chat website. Once registered, there are various fun things that you can do in a virtual chatroom. You can view numerous cams and establish your personal video chat room and invite other users for a conference. Furthermore, for those who are interested in dating online, free webcam chat can be a great aid.
To sum it up, with the help of a webcam, microphone, and internet connectivity, video chat websites make it possible for you to meet new people and catch up with countless friends, family and official contacts, regardless of their geographical location or time zone.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Flirt With Women: 5 Easy Tips
Jealousy Destroys Life and Promotes Darkness
Winning Your Ex Girlfriend Back - Don't Feel Hopeless, Feel Hopeful
Seven Reasons We MIGHT Open The Doors of Our Lives to Others: Reason No 3 - To Calm Fears
Play Your Cards Well When Dating Malaysian Women
When 'Selfishness' Is Wisdom
Monday, March 11, 2013
Dating? Don't "Wing It" Any Longer
If you are a single person and have encountered this article it is very likely that you are frustrated with dating and looking for solutions to your problem. Should you hire a dating coach and matchmaking service in order to find that quality relationship that you desire? How do you know that it is worth the expense? Should you continue to "wing it" and potentially continue to make the same mistakes indefinitely? Is a matchmaking service or a dating coach going to help?
The first thing to consider when trying to decide whether to hire a dating coach and matchmaking is whether the people you are meeting through your own efforts are the caliber of people that you envision yourself meeting. If they are not meeting your expectations, then a dating service or matchmaker can help you hone your criteria or work on yourself to make yourself a better candidate in the singles pool.
Many people who employ the help of a matchmaking service simply don't have the time to sift through endless dates with countless people. They lead busy, full lives, and despite wanting to meet a special someone simply can't put the time and effort into trying to search on their own. A matchmaking service can certainly help by isolating matches that appear to be very likely candidates for a good connection.
Do you constantly end up with people who share a lot of the same traits time and time again? Do your friends comment that you need to date different types of people or that you always date the same type? A dating coach and matchmaking service can help pop you out of that rut and introduce you to new opportunities and possibilities. A matchmaker or dating service will not only pair you with good matches who may be different but they will also screen those matches before you meet them. They provide an objective lens for you.
Dating on your own is a pretty messy process. No one is really "good" at dating. Most of us who are single and trying to find that special someone in the sea of singles out there are blindly stumbling through haphazardly. A dating coach or a matchmaking service can help steer you in the right direction. They can also look at your situation and your dates and your behavior objectively and offer concrete solutions that even your friends can't provide.
Dating coaches and matchmakers are experts in their field, after all. You, dear dater, are merely an amateur. If you settle for nothing less that excellent in the rest of your life then you should certainly not settle for less in your romantic life. Allow a dating service or a dating coach to bridge that gap for you and find the love you are seeking once and for all.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Is There a Correlation Between Having a Partner and a Relationship and Feeling Happy?
Relationship Advice - Should You Ask Family and Friends For Advice on Your Relationship Issues?
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Polish Up Your Repertoire Of Sexy Stories
Meet Single Women - How You Can Look For More Of Them
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Conflict Resolution Training: Every Complaint Contains The Seed Of An Unmet Need
The Laws of a Happy Relationship
What Characteristics Make Up the Best Mature Women for Dating?
What Men Want: Top Relationship Advice From Men for Women
When it comes to dating and relationships, I like to think of myself as a woman of wisdom. There is not a lot that I haven't seen (or done!) and I have made it my life's work to be an inspiration for women who are out there seeking help with their love lives. One of the biggest pieces of advice for women about men that comes straight from men themselves is for women to discover their "get over It gene."
What is a "get over it gene?" It is something we are all born with but most women just don't know how to use it to have the love life of their dreams. It is the ability, put bluntly, to just "get over it," or more kindly, to take stock of your circumstances, accept them, and move on with your life in a healthier direction. A woman of wisdom will learn to use it to her advantage instead of getting caught up in unhealthy situations and scenarios.
We, as women, are better communicators than men. It's pretty much a given. The problem with that is we also like to "talk it out" when we are angry and upset, which can lead to a lot of unhealthy and unproductive 'venting' thrown in the wrong direction. When you're directing at your guy, for whatever reason, not only is it not productive or helpful, it is likely to send him running in the opposite direction as fast as he can or clamming up and refusing to talk about what is wrong. Is that really what you want?
Here is a great example of how I helped one of my clients channel her "get over it gene":
My client - let's call her Mary - met a great guy and had a truly fantastic first date; lots of chemistry and attraction and they had a great time together. During the set up to the date they had spoken about what each of them was looking for; he was newly separated and wasn't looking for a committed relationship right away and she was dating other men as she was recently out of longterm relationship but to have some "fun and enjoy life". But sparks still flew for her and he was wooing her by the end of the night.
Very shortly after the date he told her he was going on a two weeks family trip that included his separated wife. It was a commitment he couldn't get out of and Mary had no problem to give him his space to do what he had to do - with no calls, texts, or emails. She felt secure in her feeling that he was into her and they would pick up where they had left off after his vacation. Sure enough, he got in touch with her after the two weeks but... (you knew it was coming) it wasn't to arrange another date. It was to let her know that his "almost but not quite" ex-wife had found out about his date and was giving him significant grief. He decided that, while he really liked Mary, he now wanted to be "just friends."
Being "friend-zoned" hurts at the best of times when there is a real spark and chemistry there, but for Mary, it was doubly hurtful because she thought they had really "talked it out" and that they each knew and were okay with what the other wanted.
She called me furious and hurt and ready to vent. She wanted to call him, email him, text him; let him know how much he had hurt her and to say "how dare you!" Her vent to me was about why would he even try to start dating when he was obviously emotionally unavailable? Why put her through that? "What a jerk!"
That was when I knew I had to stop her in her tracks with some tough love.
I asked her if she was really going to blast this man when all he did was tell her the truth? What was she hoping to accomplish by leaving angry, ranting messages on his machine? Did she really think he did this to her with forethought and purpose? Because really, how was he supposed to know what it would be like to date again after 7 years of marriage? He went into their date with good intentions but it obviously turned out to be more than he would handle emotionally at the time with his 'ex' giving him grief and he was just being honest by trying to explain to her in the first place.
In a nutshell, she had to JUST GET OVER IT!! She was obviously too attracted to him to ever be "just friends, " so she was going to have to let him go and that is exactly what she did in the end. She contacted him, let him know that although she was disappointed, she would love to hear from again when he was ready, and she left it at that. NO DRAMA, no rants, no raves, no dumping all of her frustration and anger and disappointment on him.
If we hope to be a woman of wisdom, the "get over it gene" is something we as women need to rediscover for ourselves. My advice to women about men is that some men may prove to be disappointments, and some may not have the best of intentions, but does that mean that we have to paint all men with the same brush? Being disappointed doesn't mean you get to play the victim and start the symphony of "Why me!" and "They're all the same." or "Men are stupid jerks". Pick yourself up, brush yourself off be an inspiration for women, and just GET OVER IT!
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Relationship Advice - When Others Realize Your Relationship Is Ending Before You Do!
How many times have you had a relationship end only to hear from everyone around you they weren't surprised it was over? They could see it's demise on the horizon, but you couldn't. Why is that? Were they more keenly aware of what was going on? Are they smarter in relationships than you? No on both deals. It's because they were looking at it from the outside while you were looking at it from your side, or from being involved with your partner.
Let's face it: there's a reason why they say "love is blind". It clouds our judgment and doesn't always allow us to see so much as clearly as maybe we should. It also allows us to put up with much more thoughtlessness and hurt than we would if we weren't in love. It is surprising how much we can decide to put up with, especially if we are afraid to be alone, or we were in a previous relationship that ended badly and we are afraid it could happen again.
When others pick up on an emerging breakup, it is because they usually "know" things that we don't. They've heard rumors or seem something you might not have been aware of. Even if all of the rumors are not true, there's a good possibility at least some hurtful ones have some merit.
The perception of others is not clouded. They see things, even minute details, that make up an entirely different picture than we would like to believe is being portrayed. Your friends tell you they saw signs your relationship was ending. Signs? What signs? You didn't see any signs. Then after they tell you, your reaction is "oh, they were signs."
Sometimes, it comes down to experience. Your friends could have some experience in being in a toxic relationship, while you don't. Therefore, you have no frame of reference. Your friends see the telltale signs and know a breakup is looming. If this is your first real relationship, it would have been better if you knew what to expect so you could have been prepared. Chances are, even if your friends had told you, you wouldn't have listened anyway.
There's nothing wrong with not picking up on much that your friends see. But this is why you should listen to your friends if they voice a concern. It might not seem legitimate at the time, but do yourself a favor and hear them out. It might end up saving you some heartache in the end.