Friday, May 11, 2012

What to Do (and Not Do) on a First Date

Having jitters on the first date is completely normal. After all, the first date represents the possibility that you may be going out with your future husband on your very last first date. Or it means you're headed for an evening with a total loser, which is always a bummer. Either way, the first date is the epitome of the unknown, and it requires a spirit of fearlessness to take a chance and go out with someone for the first time.

There's no reason a dynamic diva like you should worry yourself silly and obsess about making a good first impression. A successful first date requires nothing more than a little mental preparation, a strong sense of self and a comfortable pair of shoes. Feeling nervous about a first date? Not to worry. Following these first date dos and don'ts will take the guesswork out of the evening and put you back in the power seat.

Do dress to impress......yourself.

The most important thing to remember about a first date is that you want to be as comfortable in your own skin as possible. The best way to do this is to dress in an outfit that flatters you and makes you feel confident. Select an outfit because it makes you feel at ease, not because you're trying to impress your date. He'll think you look amazing no matter what you wear.

Do expect to go mountain climbing.

You don't want to show up to your date in new heels that pinch your toes or have the propensity to make you trip or fall. You may think you don't need to worry about shoes because you'll be sitting at a table or in a movie all night. Think again - he may have other date ideas. You may have a long hike from the car to the restaurant, or he may want to continue the date with a walk in the park or an evening of dancing - who knows! Be prepared to be on your feet all night and select your shoes accordingly.

Do come ready with interesting things to talk about.

One of the biggest fears associated with a first date is the awkward silence. If you show up to your date well-versed on current events, you'll put yourself ahead of the game. Practice a great joke or two in front of the mirror before your big night, and you'll have the perfect anecdote for a lull in the conversation when it shows up. Having opinions about political issues or spiritual matters will also come in handy if you feel the need to further the conversation on your first date.

Do ask questions, but stay away from clichés.

Asking a man, "So, what do you do?" is played out. So is asking him what his sign is or to describe his ideal woman. You want to let this guy know you're a cut above the rest. Set yourself apart as a fabulous first date by demonstrating a sense of originality and striking up an unconventional conversation. I have used what I call "The Question Game" to get me through many a datingadvice.com/tag/first-date">first date.

I'll say, "So, do you want to play The Question Game? I ask you a question, you ask me a question. No question is off limits and you must answer every question honestly."

No man has ever told me he didn't want to play and it always makes for an interesting evening.

Don't get drunk.

Getting smashed on a first date is an absolute no-no. For starters, you need to keep your wits about you at all times - you don't want to put yourself in a position where you might be taken advantage of. Secondly, most men get turned off quick by an inebriated woman. You don't want to say or do anything you might regret on a first date, and you don't want anything to cloud your judgment as you size up your date. Stay away from the alcohol.

Don't eat ribs or anything with poppy seeds.

If you go to dinner on a first date, be careful what you order. Don't choose foods that are messy or make you look ridiculous while you're eating. Also keep in mind food sticks to the teeth and creates a memory not soon forgotten. Chances are, the guy won't tell you if you have a hunk of pepper in your teeth. He'll let you go the entire evening looking like a fool and never call you again. It is perfectly acceptable, by the way, to excuse yourself to the ladies room to check your pearly whites before you order dessert.

Don't have any expectations.

Go on your date with a completely open mind. Don't expect him to open your door, pull out your chair or act like a gentleman. If you expect him to behave a certain way and he doesn't, the date will be a real let down. If you build him up in your mind as Mr. Perfect, you will surely be disenchanted when he falls off the pedestal you've built for him. Expectations are a set up for disappointment, which may cause you to forego a second date with a perfectly good catch. Find out who he is by observing his natural behavior and do your best to stay free from judgment.

Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step and the relationship of a thousand kisses begins with the first date. Stay true to these dos and don'ts and soon, you'll be strolling Lover's Lane with your new man.

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