Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Hope for China's "Undesirables," Chinese Singles In Search of a Partner

In many other cultures, especially those in the west, women who choose to pursue other goals first before getting married and remain unmarried in their late 20s or even for the rest of their lives do not have to worry about such stigma. In China, a single woman past her 27th year would make her one of the Sheng Nu, a term unique to Chinese culture and which means "Unwanted Ladies." Even while Chinese society has become more open to western influence and women enjoy the same rights and privileges that men do, some traditional norms remain the same. One of them is the society's idee fixe on marriage or, more specifically, on the importance of getting married by a certain age.

In China, marriage has far-reaching societal implications and significance and, as a result, the pressure to get married is like a nagging question that won't go away until it gets answered. In Chinese society, this can be an actual nagging question asked by one's family and immediate social circles that won't go away until they get the answer they want. The question is, "When will you get married?'

As in all other modern societies, the countless opportunities made available to women have resulted in the majority of them putting off marriage and having a family longer, choosing to focus more on their education and career. For single Chinese women, achieving high levels of education and having successful careers are highly admirable but they come at a price; their shift in priorities has made it harder for them to find a suitable mate among Chinese men, who have to have at least an equal or, preferably, a higher status than their partner. Once again, it's a culture thing.

As Chinese luck would have it, China's online matchmaking industry has provided an effective solution to the problem of female Chinese singles that are considered "undesirable" and given them a means to "get out of the kitchen." Not only have Chinese dating sites made it easier for single Chinese women to have a social life, albeit a virtual one, despite the hustle and bustle of their days; these have also opened up more avenues for them to explore in their search for a life partner, regardless of their age.

As mentioned in the Sunday Times article, "China's online dating market booms" ( http://www.timeslive.co.za/scitech/2012/07/31/china-s-online-dating-market-booms ), it has become a real struggle for "work-stressed Chinese" to find a mate, but this challenge has boosted the Chinese online dating industry so much so that it is expected to double its revenue in 2014.

The explosive growth in China's online matchmaking market has not only been in terms of the substantial increases in the number of memberships and the number of dating sites; the market has also expanded in terms of its cultural reach. Many Chinese dating sites are exclusively focused on cross-cultural matchmaking, particularly matching single Chinese women with western men.

For the Sheng Nu, these dating sites have given them hope when the fact of their age has put them in an increasingly hopeless situation. Through these cross-cultural online dating opportunities, they are given as much chance as any younger Chinese girl in finding a lifetime partner; it can even be said that they might have an edge over the younger and relatively less successful Chinese women. The boom in the industry also offers proof that these matchmaking sites, cross-cultural and otherwise, deliver. The countless happy success stories of couples who have found love online, especially those in long-term, cross-cultural relationships, only give the so-called undesirable women of China less worries about not finding a suitable mate and more reasons to give themselves more time.

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