There are a lot of things you can do to get a girl back, but there's only one absolute, irrefutable must-do. Without it, you're setting yourself up for a life of disappointment.
You've got to make yourself happy first.
I know that sounds like stupid, new-age b.s., but I'm telling you, if you're looking for happiness anywhere other than from within yourself, you're never gonna find it. And most importantly, if you're trying to make her happy and ignoring your own unhappiness, you're just going to be spinning your wheels.
Here's a familiar pattern in 6 steps that you might recognize:
1. You're unhappy being single and you think getting a girl will change that.
2. You get a girl and things are great for a while - you're in the "honeymoon phase."
3. Things start to be not-so-great because the excitement wanes and the unhappiness that was always there the whole time starts to creep back in.
4. You start getting antsy, frustrated, blaming-her, thinking that it just isn't working out. She, or both of you, become resentful.
5. You're single again.
6. You're unhappy being single and you think getting a girl will change that.
Sound about right?
If you're ever going to break this pattern, you've got to learn how to be happy before you start looking to get a girl back. And you absolutely need to learn to find happiness if you hope to get a girl back that you've lost previously.
This is one of the most important lessons I've ever learned: No one else can make you happy. It's not their job. It's yours.
And here's the sad truth: very few people want to be around you when you're not happy. The only exception? Other unhappy people.
So, how do you do it? How do you learn to make yourself happy? It's different for everyone, obviously, because what fires me up doesn't necessarily do the same for you. But here are a few steps that helped me:
1. Be okay with being single. Being single's great sometimes. Enjoy it. Go out with your buddies. Do what you want. Don't answer to anyone else. Don't shower on the weekends, leave your stuff laying around the apartment, whatever. You're single, bro. It's cool, seriously.
2. Really, truly understand what it is that fires you up. Make a list if you have to. List the things you enjoy about your job, your hobbies, your friends, your interests. Whatever it is for you. And really put some thought into it, because this is going to be your reference sheet. Whenever you're feeling down, check out the list and do something on it. Reconnect to what makes you happy.
3. Realize that no one but unhappy people want to be with unhappy people. It's really important for you to get to a good place if you want to get a girl back, okay? You were unhappy before and you've got to fix that before it will ever work this time.
And as you start to focus on your own happiness, realizing that you're okay being alone, and putting yourself in a position where you're attracting more happy people, that's when you start turning things around and ending the pattern.
Learning to put your happiness first and understanding that it's the most important thing you can do to get your girlfriend back, you find yourself moving down the right path and bringing into your life the relationship you've always wanted.
This article is brought to you by Relationships Advice Blog.
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