Relationship Advice - It's Over, But My Ex Wants To Be Friends!

The relationship has been declared over... it's finished. Fine. It's time to move on with your life. Fine. But suddenly, your ex partner tells you even though the two of you are no longer a couple, they still want to be friends. Is this fine? Not really.

Being told an ex wants to remain friends sends a mixed signal. They don't want to be a couple, but they want to be friends! Why? Does this mean this is all the relationship ever had to offer them in the first place? It's quite possible. Now the relationship is over... the relationship you thought was an intimate one; is your ex finding it much easier to admit this?

But before you put them on your social speed dial, you need to ask yourself an important question: will allowing this be better for you, or worse?

What would you benefit from having them as just a friend? Would it continually stir up old feelings for you? Would it be terribly uncomfortable to be around them since they meant much more to you than just a casual acquaintance?

You also have to consider at some point... probably in the near future, they are going to start dating someone else. How is that going to make you feel? As a "friend", you will be expected to hang out with them and see them together as a couple, like you used to be. Are you willing to put yourself through this?

The most important step for you to take at this point, is to get on with your life. If you focus on what might be happening with your ex then you will drive yourself crazy. There were specific reasons for the breakup; so remember what they were.

If you asked for the breakup, then there had to be enough substantial doubts in your mind you didn't feel the relationship had anywhere to go. Even if you question your motives now, it was still sufficient enough at the time to warrant a breakup.

If they asked for it, they must have felt the same thing. Either that, or they had found someone else you are not yet aware of. Either way, their reason was more important to them than being with you.

If it was a mutual decision, then you both saw the truth and realized the relationship was not "the relationship of your all time dreams". If you went so far as to consider the relationship over, then that should apply to the friendship, side too.