There is a rule after a break-up that is called the no contact rule. It means exactly that. Once you are broken up, you do not contact each other. What I am going to do for you now is go over the top three situations that happen after this rule is in effect.
1. Your ex calls you up.
2. You call your ex up.
3. You figure out that this person was not right for you and you do not want to give it another shot.
Situation #1: Your Ex Calls You Up
Your ex is the first to re-establish contact. The silence is now officially broken, and this means something important for you. You have what can be considered an advantage since he contacted you first. Now, the reason may be unclear as of yet, but you do know that he wanted to talk to you bad enough to break the silence first. If he broke up with you, you are definitely in the better position of the two. This is not to say that you should abuse this advantage by reminding him who broke up with who, or any other mean-spirited tactics. It may be that he does not want to get back together, but possibly clear the air on a few things, make sure there are truly no hard feelings and that you can remain friends, or just simply to get some closure if re-connecting is not a possibility.
Situation #2: You Call Your Ex Up
This situation can be touchy, regardless of who broke up with whom. If he broke up with you, calling him first could possibly make you look desperate or clingy. If you broke up with him, it could look like you are just trying to rub it in and keep those hurt emotions fresh. This situation should only arise, however, if you truly want your ex back and he has not made attempts at contact yet. While this puts you in the vulnerable position, you want to find out if he is feeling the same way as you and wants to get back together. If nothing else, you make your feelings known and find his out, gaining closure if there is no future between the two of you, and starting the healing and re-connecting process if there is something still there.
Situation #3- You Do Not Want Your Ex Back
This situation explains itself. After both of you have had a chance to cool off, you discover that he was not the right one for you and you do not want to get back together. If he does contact you first after the no-contact period, just let him know honestly how you feel. Spare him unnecessary hurt if you can, but make it clear that there is nothing further for you to pursue in a relationship with him.
How to Re-Establish Contact after the Rule Is In Place
So, you have decided that your ex is worth another shot, and you really want to try again to make it work. He has not called yet, and the no-contact rule is still in effect. How do you go about it? Do you just call him? Do you shoot him an email? Do you go old-school and write him a letter? The popular answer seems to be texting, actually. Send him a text message. However, you must make it interesting so that he will reply to it. Do not just text him with something like "Hey, I want you back. Call me if you feel the same." If you would like to know more about the no-contact rule after a break-up, feel free to contact me and I will provide you the answers you will need.
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