You and your ex are back together, but how are things going between you? Are you happy and fulfilled, with both of you working together to make your relationship better than it was before? Or have you settled for a few casual hookups and the occasional call or text? If so, you ex is probably just using you, and you need to do something now to change that.
When you want something from somebody who doesn't want to give it, it gives them power over you. This makes it easy for them to start using you. In getting your ex to take notice of you again, it's important not to make yourself too abject and available. This is why it is so important to get the right advice when you want to get your ex back.
Did they came back because they wanted to be with you; because you built up the attraction between you so that they saw you again as the one person they really wanted to be with? Or did they just give in to your begging and pleading and hook up with you one night? After a breakup, there are effective strategies you can follow which will reignite the passion and attraction in your relationship, and it is really important to get things right. Otherwise you are likely to end up just being used.
You ex may start to see you as a sort of prop in their life, a source of easy money or sex, or someone to fall back on when no-one else is available. If this is the pattern of your relationship now, then you have been using the wrong tactics, and you will need to be very tough with yourself to get things back on track.
First of all you have to call time on your ex taking you for granted, and make it clear that you are not prepared to spend time with them unless they are going to make a commitment to you. There is no point in wasting yourself on someone who doesn't return your love, as it will never make you happy. But it will take time and determination on your part to convince your ex that they can no longer take you for granted, and you will have to stick to your guns on this.
To avoid all this disappointment and hassle, it is better to use the right strategy from the start. Instead of being the supplicant, you need to rebuild the attraction between you and your ex so that they are the one wanting to get back together with you. When you attract them back (rather than persuading them to come back), you involve their imagination and their emotions much more effectively. This creates the romance and passion which will truly reignite your relationship.
It is also important not to make it too easy for your ex to get what they want. It is human nature to value something more when it cost some effort to get it, and unless you ex is prepared to put some effort into making things work, your relationship is not likely to recover. The trick is to motivate them so that they want to make that effort. That is why using the right strategies is so important.
Don't let your ex pressure you into doing anything before you are ready. Remember you are looking for a commitment here, as you do not want to end up in the position where you are being used. This will be difficult for you when you really want to be with them, but it is a good test of how sincere they are in wanting to get back together with you. If they are not willing to respect your wish to take things slowly, then they probably don't want you back for the right reasons.
If you are doing things right, your ex may become a bit impatient or frustrated, but you should make sure you get a commitment form them before making any big moves. When things have already gone wrong between you, it is vital that you create something strong between you first on which you can rebuild your relationship. You are trying to get things right this time, so you are entitled to take you time and feel confident about your ex's commitment before you let them completely back into your life.
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