In the old days, breaking up meant not having to have any contact with your ex once the "dumping" was over. But today, technology makes the split much more difficult to finalize. While Facebook is great for staying in touch, there are times when we don't want that particular ability.
Here are five reasons why it's best to de-friend your ex:
1. No need to hide. We often feel the need to hide our new relationships from an ex. There are many reasons why we would feel compelled to do so...
- we feel guilty for moving on,
- we don't want to unnecessarily hurt them,
- we don't want to make them jealous of someone we are hanging around with.
The list goes on. If they can't see your profile, then there's no one to hide from.
2. It allows you to grieve in private. People often display their emotions on Facebook... especially if they are hurting. Your ex does not need to know about those feelings and you don't need to stifle your emotions. Solve both issues and keep the grief private.
3. It takes away the possibility you can remain friends. Being friends after a breakup might sound noble, but it usually is not a good idea. Friends confide in one another. Your ex isn't going to want to go from the position of being your partner and having so much to do with your life, to sitting back and watching you live life without them. It isn't fair and it isn't comfortable for either of you.
4. It allows you to separate yourself from the negativity of the relationship. Seeing your ex on Facebook is going to bring back memories... bad ones. You will read little comments, see their attitude being displayed, voicing their opinion, etc. All of this is going to trigger negative emotions and memories that will relive the "bad" of the relationship. You don't need to be reminded of any of those thoughts or feelings.
5. To allow you to grow. Growing and maturing is a natural by-product of a relationship that has ended. You have to be able to move on with your life and have new experiences. Your creative side could be held back if you feel someone is watching over you to see how you deal with various aspects of life generally.
This is the time to follow through with your dreams... dreams that might have been put on hold, or even totally suppressed during the relationship. Now, it's about growing!
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