Dynamics of Internet Genealogy

Genealogical research and the use of DNA strands have been used in the study of various families and the extensive tracing of their history and lineages. Many experienced genealogists and league of qualified scientists use the oral traditions, the usage of historical records, various genetic analysis and other extensive records to obtain information about the family they are conducting their report on and to also demonstrate the kinship and various level of pedigrees of the family's members. Majority of their results are commonly displayed in various written narratives or in charts. These results haven't been easy to come by though.

The pursuit of family history tends to be shaped by several motivations, including the desire to carve out a place for one's family in the larger historical picture, a sense of responsibility to preserve the past for future generations, and a sense of self-satisfaction in accurate storytelling.

Hobbyist genealogists typically pursue their own ancestry and that of their spouses. Professional genealogists may also conduct research for others, publish books on genealogical methods, teach, or produce their own databases.

They may work for companies that provide software or produce materials of use to hobbyist and other professional genealogists. Both try to understand not just where and when people lived, but also their lifestyles, biographies, and motivations.

Genealogists sometimes specialize in a particular group, e.g. a Scottish clan; a particular surname, such as in a one-name study; a small community, e.g. a single village or parish, such as in a one-place study; or a particular, often famous, person. The Bloodlines of Salem is an example of a specialized family-history group. The ideology has welcomed members who are able to prove descent from a participant of the Salem Witch Trials or who choose simply to support the group.

Genealogists and family historians often join family history societies, where novices can learn from more experienced researchers. Such societies may also index records to make them more accessible, and engage in advocacy and other efforts to preserve public records and cemeteries.

Are you keen upon discovering your own family tree? Do you ever wonder if you had a brother or sister or a relative you haven't had a clue existed? You can look up your family tree on these sites One Great Family and Ancestry.ca. They offer great services and also offer discounts on their services via coupons. So make the most of their service and visit the links above.

Rekindling Your Relationship - Can You Get the Sparks Back With Your Man?

Rekindling your relationship that has been on the rocks for a while now can be quite tricky to do. If you have no idea where to start because your romance with your boyfriend has practically become platonic, then here's an article to help you out.

Learn to Yield

Problems in a relationship usually start when one of the people in the couple refuses to admit their mistakes or flaws. Because they want to win the fight so badly, these couples then forget about their love and throw everything out of the window. So, if you end up doing your boyfriend wrong next time or just can't seem to see things from his eyes, then try to just let things slide for a change.

Letting things slide can help in rekindling your relationship because it will show him that you are more mature now and are ready to let small trivialities go. Naturally, you will have to make sure that you can actually back up this new and mature you, as well. Putting on a brave face just to go back to the way things were a few weeks later won't help either of you - remember that.

Bottle Up the Anger

Even if it was your boyfriend who wronged you and said something to make you angry, you need to learn how to forgive him. After all, if you are still angry with him, how can rekindling your relationship even be possible? If you need time to think about what happened and to find out whether the fight was really something worth fighting about, then take some time away from your man for now.

Once you have had some time, assess your emotions and figure out a way to talk to him about it. If you want to fix things, then make sure you are gentle and civil when talking to him; otherwise, you could just start a whole new fight altogether.

Drive Him Wild

If rekindling your relationship is your top priority right now and there isn't actually anything big that you fought about, then you might want to pull out all of the stops, don a sexy outfit and drive your man wild with it. Although this might seem a bit sneaky to you, it is sure to help you put your foot into the door and seduce his socks off. After all, men are visual creatures, so doing this is sure to bring the heat up in no time.

Keeping It Positive During Romantic Fallout

It is never a good idea to use low-blows when it comes to love, though we all happen to be guilty of it at one time or another.

Human relationships will never be ideal, and when you believe that you will be in a romantic relationship and never argue with somebody then you definitely will fail. Not saying that everyone uses dirty pot-shots in order to "win" the actual discussion or get their way but quite a few people do.

These argument techniques can be particularly excruciating to people who have self esteem issues and expect you to be in their corner, not using their slights against them.

It is necessary that you avoid low blows, we usually do not mean to be cruel or use the imperfections of our girlfriend/boyfriend towards them but int he heat of the moment it happens.

Realize also that this is a two-way argument and that the nastiest things can be volleyed back at you just the same. Still, just because you are able to take it does not mean that you should dish it out.

Bad argument examples:
1. He is out with all the fellas and comes home at the break of dawn. Your current retaliation: Going out the next night in your "come and get it" costume and making yourself available to the alpha male Club-goers.

2. She accidentally threw out the lockbox you kept with your old baseball cards in it because she thought it was junk that was left over from the former residents of your home. Your current retaliation: you find an album of her favorite photos and "accidentally" throw it away.

3. He does not acknowledge your current new hair-do, so you thinks he hates it. Your current retaliation: never to compliment him on anything he does in the future,

4. You notice the woman getting helpful with a male coworker in the club. Your current retaliation: you corner her at home forcing her to explain the conversation in detail and to give proof that they aren't sleeping with one another.

Actively playing the retaliation card is a waste of your time, as well as almost never leads to a positive reaction. We should treat our loved ones as our loved ones and solve mysteries through communication, explanation and forgiveness.

Things get complicated when we start balancing reactionary flames in the down times with warm sentiments during the good times. Learn to trust, learn to love and go about things in a more positive way with your beaus.

Do You Want to Rekindle the Passion With Your Husband?

Have you been more worried about your marriage than usual? Does your main concern nowadays have anything to do with the way the passion in your marriage has dwindled to nothing? Do you sometimes wonder what happened to the passion that you used to share with your husband? Do you feel like you are roommates now instead of lovers?

Well, don't fret just yet. It is still possible to rekindle the passion with your husband and get the old fire back. One trick that you can use to do this is the element of surprise. This basically means that you should try and surprise your husband with romantic gifts and actions every now and then. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that you have to buy a lot of expensive gifts in order to rekindle the passion with your husband. Several small romantic gestures alone can definitely get the job done.

That's right. Small yet romantic gestures done on a regular basis can easily help you rekindle the passion with your husband. Here are several tips that you can do on a consistent and regular basis to effectively get the romance and glow back into your marriage:

Take your husband by surprise one of these days and bring him lunch to his office or ask to take him out for lunch without him expecting it.

Surprise your husband with an unexpected foot massage after work sometimes.

Get a bubble bath ready for him on one of his most stressful work days. This would be especially effective if he isn't expect it at all.

Does your husband have a household chore that he absolutely hates doing? Help him out once in a while, even if he doesn't ask or need your help.

Place several love notes around the house that he won't be able to miss. Remember: surprises are always better and sweeter.

Treat your husband like a king every now and then. Take the children out, even if it is his turn to babysit, for example, and give him completely control of his time.

If you want to rekindle the passion with your husband, there is no need to go the ordinary way and just shower him with gifts. Ideally, you should focus on making him feel appreciated and loved. Once you succeed at making him feel appreciated and loved, you shouldn't have any trouble rekindling the passion in your marriage anymore.

The Right Balance of Attention Paid

This is particularly relevant to consider in dealing with those who could be considered possessive - the anxiously attached. I find that sense of spiritual identity in me, to a certain extent, and so I'm therefore 'qualified' to write on this - about how others have successfully interacted with me, for example.

Sometimes it is appropriate (read, "helpful") to give someone a lot of attention - to feed their gaping desire for love, but much of the time we do not love them best (or, we simply do not love them) by placating them. Placating, or appeasing, may be more about our own anxious needs than theirs.

Each person must be encouraged to sink or swim of their own accord; to take responsibility for their own lives.

We shouldn't go on and on rescuing people, as we do them harm by creating a circumstance of reliance.

The foreseeable exceptions are these:

IN GRIEF:

When someone's been stricken by a loss of any kind we could expect them to cling to a safe mooring (in us) as they weather the storm of their grief.

They'll need someone or a couple of people with whom to rest with and journey with.

Within the acuteness of grief's pain there should be solace in connecting with people if that is the need. But equally, as carers, we need to discern when to leave people as they are to do their own processing. Again, we need to ask ourselves, "Who are we really trying to support when we desire to help people?" Sometimes people try and support others out of their own needs in order to feel good. But in this scenario, no one benefits.

IN GROWTH:

When people intentionally put themselves in the path of growth and learning - because God has kindled their hunger - they may be safely attached to a mentor for specific guided activities.

Both parties of this mentoring arrangement are blessed. That's the guide that all is working well. Whenever there is an encumbrance on one party, a burden so-to-speak, it's no longer about growth; and an unhealthy dependence has formed.

But when growth is at the forefront, we can afford to pour our attention into people.

***

Balancing the giving of attention is the art of wisdom in relationships. We shouldn't neglect people, nor should we rescue them. Each has to live their life without depending on other people too much. But when people are suffering and they need us, any positive attention we give them, at the time, is good attention.

We shouldn't rescue people from situations they should be handling themselves, with two exceptions: in grief and in growth. The grieving need our support, and the growing need our encouragement. Balancing the attention we pay to people is a mark of discerned wisdom.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

How To Get Your Boyfriend Back Starting With This Simple First Step

Do you find that no matter what you do, you continue to push your boyfriend further away from you? Does this describe your situation pretty well? Do you wonder all day about how to get your boyfriend back to a place of trust and open communication? If so, then keep reading for some more advice as to how you can really help you in reaching your goal of getting back together with boyfriend.

Because you started reading this article it's obvious that you are dead serious about not letting your relationship wither away. But if you are too uneasy about how to get your boyfriend back then you could be doing things that are prompting him to pull away out of instinct.

It is natural for most people to push back against this type of pressure. Battling human nature in this way will not help the situation and may make it even worse.

What Are You Doing Now To Get Your Boyfriend Back?

So, let's consider some things that you may be doing right now that are counterproductive. Are you...
*calling him too much?

*sending him emails all of the time?

*sending text messages to him any and every chance you get?

*trying to get him to feel sorry for you?

If you are, then stop! Immediately! Pronto! Continuing this type of communication is counterproductive and completely undermines what you really want and that is to get your boyfriend back. If you are truly committed to reaching your goal, then you must not do these things anymore... starting today.

How To Get Your Boyfriend Back? Try This Approach

You will have to completely reset your approach. Start by NOT making contact for a while and just live your life instead. While you have stopped communication between you and your boyfriend, you can pay attention to how you can improve your own life, rather than paying attention to the relationship problems.

This will be difficult for a while and it will require self-discipline to keep you from falling back into those old, self-defeating habits. Despite the tempation, you need to back off.

During the communication black out, your boyfriend will experience a change in his feelings for you, because you are no longer contacting him and contacting him and contacting him.

You will be a bit of a mystery to him, since he does not know what you are doing or feeling. This can actually help your cause. Your boyfriend now is in a position to possibly miss you. Before this was not going to happen because you were all over him.

Use Human Nature To Get Your Boyfriend Back

It is vital that you remember that the strategy described here is based on accommodating human nature and not fighting against it. If you are trying to figure out how to get your boyfriend back, you should have a good grasp on knowing how easy-to-make mistakes can be avoided completely.

Once you start this straightforward strategy you reestablish a healthy balance and give your boyfriend the chance to remember why he loved you to begin with.

Keep your feet firmly on the ground and do not blanket the guy with pleading, pathetic messages. Try to be more mysterious so that he can remember why he first fell in love with you.

Play a little hard to get and give him the chance to initiate contact and you will improve your situation, no doubt. Then you have a much better chance to get your boyfriend back.

Dating Tip Safety: Five Warning Signs That Someone Could Be A Fake!

In this day and age of technology and limited time, more and more of us who are single, will turn to online dating to try to find someone special.

The challenge with online dating is that someone can say anything to grab your attention,whether it's true or not and may not necessarily be the person in the photos that are posted. You can be virtually anyone online by typing up clever lines and grabbing good looking photos from a Google Image search for example.

So how in the world can you be sure who you are talking to is really who you think it is? The first step is to listen to your gut instinct, if something does not seem quite right, it is probably not. From there you may have to put on your online investigator hat and do some research. For now, check out the following common warning signs below.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number One

Their profile is very well written but their communication skills with you are the pits. Have you ever run across a profile that is masterfully written, so much so, that even a member of the grammar police would be proud? It says just the right things that you want to hear in the right places and because their writing skills are above average, you figure that they must possess the Master's degree they claim to have earned. But you notice that when they communicate with you through instant message or by text that they use shorthand, frequently misspell words and use improper grammar. Their messages don't feel like it could have come from the same person. What's up with that?

It may be that they were just putting their best foot forward in the written portion of their profile or had it professionally written from a questionnaire they filled out. Or, they may have copy and pasted it from someone else's profile, meaning they are a fraud.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Two

They only want to Instant Message or have a Google phone number to mask their real number. Someone who doesn't want you to really know who they are may ask you to instant message with them on a service like Yahoo. There's nothing wrong with instant messaging to start off a conversation. However, if that is their only form of communication, that should set off a red flag. With a legitimate email address you can search and get their IP address to verify their location and make sure it matches where they claim to live. You should be able to Google search using their phone number to also verify the location and make sure they are being truthful.

Someone who doesn't want you to have their email address or phone number that could be traced to prove their location is probably up to no good.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Three

The person you're chatting with is giving you conflicting stories. There is an old saying "You don't have to remember the truth." This means that if you ask someone the same question, you should get the same honest answer. Recently, someone I was chatting with told me that they were Catholic and I thought "That's strange, their profile says Protestant." It could be that when filling out their profile, they selected the wrong box, however either way that set off my radar detector and it needed to be questioned. Keep your ears open and listen to make sure everything seems consistent with their profile and any past conversations you have had.

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Four

The person you are interested in has given you their name, location, profession and phone number but you cannot validate or verify any of the information. With all the social media sites and business web sites, you would think that you would be able to find them in at least a few search results, wouldn't you? If someone says they are a successful artist but there is nothing about them online with their name, location and at least a few images of their work, I would be suspicious. Are their giving you a fake name, information or location and if so, why?

Online Dating Warning Sign Number Five

They want more of your photos, information about you or a web cam chat but do not offer to reciprocate. When someone is fishing or phishing for more information about you but won't reciprocate, that's a warning sign. They may be gathering all the info they can to charm you in the future into giving them something, or worse. If someone wants you to chat via web cam, insist that they do it to, or if they want more info or photos of you, ask for the same in return. After all, if they are honest and legitimate, fair is fair right?

There are additional warning signs that can come up. These are just a handful of them. Just remember the rule of thumb is if something doesn't make sense or seem right, it may not be.

A few quick things you can do early on to protect yourself from scammers and fakes is to use some free online resources.

First, make Google your best friend and search their screen name, instant message name, or anything else they give you to contact them. Check out dating scam web sites and see if they are listed or if their dating pitch sounds awfully familiar to any listed.

Second, use Google Image Search to verify that the pix you're drooling over don't belong to any celebrities and seem like they are really the person you think they are. You can right click on an image and copy the image's URL code to put into the Google Image Search. Or, what I do, is right click on an image and Save a Copy of it. Then I click on the Google camera icon and upload it.

Google will return search engine images that seem similar of that will match it. If your hottie appears to have the same face as a celebrity or other popular person, you'll know you probably have been communicating with an imposter. Voila! (I've caught two people using images that weren't them myself recently using this tool)

Last, once you have their email address, send them an email and if you get one in return, you can run it through a IP address search engine that you can find online for free. Search: With an IP address, you can usually validate what city or state the email come from.

You can also search for any key words they use, their screen name or name they've given through web sites that expose scam artists.

By taking care to listen to your gut and to do some light private detective work online, you can help ensure that you're speaking to the person you think you are, and if not, find out early on so you don't waste a lot of time with them or become a victim of crime.

Self-Protector Or Learner - Which Are You?

THE SELF-PROTECTOR

Like everyone else, you can become a defensive "self-protector" when you feel unsafe, even if you are unaware of it. Feeling threatened and becoming self-protective is a normal part of life for everyone!

The problem is when you become inappropriately defensive or get stuck in defensive self- protectiveness. Ah, there's the problem. Inappropriate or repeated defensiveness can undermine and hurt you. It can even destroy your relationships.

When you become an inappropriate self-protector, to some degree, you "split off" From yourself. You lose a clear picture of reality and your freedom of choice. All you want is to avoid discomfort and pain, or to feel in control again. So you tend to act in ways that hurt you and others. For example, you may refuse to admit when you are wrong, run away, see yourself as better than others, isolate, or become unreasonably angry.

When you are stuck as a self-protector, you also lose a clear picture of reality, and to some degree, your freedom of choice. You repeat inappropriate ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. But even worse, you train yourself to stay defensive and self-protective. You may even look be on the look-out for things to make you defensive.

Becoming a defensive self-protector is normal and adaptive when there is a genuine threat to your safety and wellbeing or to the safety and wellbeing of those you love. Going in to self-protect is maladaptive and hurtful if:

1. You go there because of an imagined threat.

2. You go there and get stuck there.

The subconscious mind rules your defensiveness. When you become self-protective, instincts or habit patterns stored in your sub-conscious mind take over. If you don't know how to recognize when this happens and do something different, the habit can take control of you.

You can become rigid, confused, or all mixed-up. It's almost impossible to see the whole truth--the big picture-- when you are in self-protector mode. So, you refuse to discuss the issue and leave the room, get angry, or pout in silence.

At this moment, you are on autopilot mindlessly reacting instead of responding appropriately. If you are stuck as a self-protector, you are like a CD. Just like a CD, when activated, you play the same reactions over and over, relating to others in the same old hurtful ways.

If you pay attention to how you are reacting, you'll find that your body is stressed and that you have negative emotions such as pride, anger, fear, disgust, or the craving to be right.

If you pay attention to what you are saying to yourself, you will find that the thoughts and pictures in your mind are also negative. You may be thinking, Just shut up. Leave me alone. I don't care what you say. You're jerk. You don't know anything.

Finally, if you check what you want, your will or desire may be to get even, be right, or get away. The following is a summary of your reactions.

Body of a Self-Protector: You are tense, agitated, or collapsed.

Emotions of a Self-Protector: You are emotionally negative.

Mind of a Self-Protector: You are mentally off-balance. Things seem all good or all bad. Or you are double minded, helplessly swinging back and forth between seeing things as all good or all bad.

Will/Desires of a Self-Protector: You want to avoid or control people, situations, and problems in inappropriate ways that lead to impulsive and compulsive behaviors. You may seem paralyzed--unable to act.

THE LEARNER

Being a "learner" is meant to be your normal way of life. When you are a learner, you can see both the negative and positive sides of reality-the big picture. You could say that you are an objective observer of what is going on. Also, learners have hope.

The creative, problem-solving conscious mind is in control when you are a learner. Instead of becoming inappropriately defensive, trying to avoid or control difficulties inappropriately, you stay open and curious. You feel rightly connected within yourself and to others, and to God, if you are a believer.

When faced with difficulties, your primary concern is to get to the truth with compassion for yourself and others. You want to resolve issues in a win-win fashion (Everyone feels fairly dealt with.). And you can express the best of who you are-your healthy-best-real self. Here's summary of what it is like to be a learner.

Body of a Learner: Your body responses are relaxed, but alert.

Emotions of a Learner: Your emotions are positive (peace, acceptance, confidence/zest, satisfaction).

Mind of a Learner: Your mind reflects flexible and balanced thinking (You see both the negative and positive sides of people and situations--the big picture) and you can freely choose what you focus on.

Will/Desires of a Learner: Your actions are based on a clear picture of reality and the best of who you are. You stay out of inappropriate avoid or control strategies and try to resolve difficulties win-win

Is staying a learner worth the effort? Yes. Indeed it is! Staying a learner often requires effort, but being a learner leads to integration and growth, emotional, physical health, and healthy relationships.

Please take the Choice-Cube Method Self-Assessment Quiz to find out whether you are more in shadow-a Self-Protector or in light-a Learner.

Seduce and Conquer Women - 3 Tips

Dear Friend,
Are you:

• Tired of being ignored or rejected by women?
• Tired of playing second best to other guys?
• Tired of having to aim low to score?
• Tired of being alone?
• Tired of having no power in your existing relationship?
• Tired of having no control over how women respond to you?
• Tired of seeing a beautiful woman walking down the street with some guy who ain't half the man you are and thinking "how the hell did he get her?"

• Frustrated because you don't have sex as much as you'd like?

If you are in any of these situations then keep reading, your life is about to dramatically change...

For starters, let me give you...

3 Free Tips To Pick Up Women Now

# 1: Do Not Act Like the "Nice Guy"

Gentlemen, please understand that when it comes to attracting, meeting and seducing beautiful women, "nice guys" will always finish last. Women do not want to date a "nice guy." She wants be with a confident and cocky guy who has personality and lots of attitude. Nice guys are too easy for her and fall into that dreaded "friend" category. Women want a guy who is NOT easy and when you're the "nice guy", women automatically think you're easy.

Have you ever noticed that all the hot, sexy women out there never seem to be dating or attracted to a "nice guy?" and to make matters worse doesn't it seem like all these beautiful babes are dating guys that are jerks?

Better yet...

Have you ever noticed that it's always the girls that you are not interested in that are suddenly interested in you?

Why?

Exactly, because you were not interested in them and you were not trying to be overly nice or sweet to them.

Women don't like "nice" guys. They are all too easy for her. Beautiful women, gentlemen, want a challenge! Always remember that!

They want to be intrigued when they first meet you; they want to be kept on their toes,

They want a challenge.

You have to learn how to give her that challenge...

# 2: Don't Give Her a Compliment When You First Meet Her

What do most guys do the first time they meet a woman? Exactly they pay them a compliment or try to be the "sweet guy" The sweet guy is worse than the nice guy. Not only does it give her no challenge it actually turns her off from you. She will dislike you if you approach her and give her a compliment. Women don't want to hear compliments and they don't want to hear pick up lines. You will seem like a desperate loser in her mind because you are too interested in her and you're much too easy for her.

Why?

Because women live for the thrill of the chase, the second they know they can have you, they will not want you anymore. Compliments and pick up lines backfire in your face. She might smile and laugh but in the back of her mind she's laughing at you, not with you! It's all a game and you have to learn how to play it!

There are 3 phases to the game...

The First Phase - Begins when you first meet her...

The Second Phase - Begins right after you have sex with her...

The Third Phase - Begins when you get into a serious relationship with her...

# 3: Don't Sell Yourself to Her

Most guys meet a girl and realize that she's a little apprehensive and then, the first thing they do is try to convince the girl to feel comfortable around them and to like them. Never try to convince a woman to like you. If she's not attracted to you convincing her or persuading her to like you will turn her further away from you! Most guys meet a girl and try to SELL them the idea of being with him. Attraction cannot be sold gentlemen; it can be created but not sold. Don't try to convince women to like you.

The more you try to convince her, the less she will like you. Create the attraction you desire by being the opposite of what she expects!

The Best Ways to Bring the Romance Back in Your Husband's Heart

Without a doubt, the responsibilities and demands that come with a marriage can put a lot of strain and stress onto any married couple. Because of this, the couple might find themselves in a rut that is nothing like the exciting and romantic marriage that it started out to be. Unfortunately, a marriage without romance can be dangerous since it weakens the relationship and makes the couple depressed. So, if you want to bring the romance back in your own marriage and start building a happier and stronger relationship to your husband, then pay very close attention to this article.

A lot of married couples seem to think that their marriages will last forever, even if they don't make an effort in nurturing them. However, the truth is that marriages need to be nourished in order for them to last. If you feel like there is no more romance in your own marriage, then the following tips can help you bring the romance back in no time:

Be Patient and Romantic.

It would be vital for you to be patient while trying to bring the romance back in your marriage - remember that. It would also be vital for you to be romantic on regular days and not just on special occasions. No matter how busy you might be, you should make it a point to keep the romance going in your relationship by surprising your husband every now and then. A romantic home-cooked would work very well in this department, especially if you cook it without any reason whatsoever. This will show him how much you really care and love him.

Be Spontaneous.

If you have been married for several years now, then you have probably already fallen into some sort of habit or routine. You probably eat at the exact same time every day and go to the exact same places for your dates. Well, if you want to rekindle your marital romance, then you will need to break those habits and start doing new things for a change. If you both love sports, for example, then engaging in new physical hobbies can make your marriage more romantic and exciting for the both of you.

On that note, make sure you always keep things fresh. A lot of married couples stop acting like they are in love after getting married, but marriage is supposed to be a long-term relationship. So, if you want to bring the romance back, you will have to act like you are still in your dating stage and act like lovesick teenagers. Try it!

How To Balance Relationships Between Old And New Relations

We all have lots of friends and relations,
some new, some old.
Friends can be easily replaced,
at short notice, with some discomfort;
not so with relations.
We have to live with them, tolerate them, make compromises;
relations, old or new are long-term investments in life,
and spouse among them is a key figure, nearly indispensable,
in spite of increase in live-in relationships and divorces all around.

New relations should enhance the existing synergy, in the family;
which may not be always true,
as sharing of friends or relations, is not amicable in general.

We have old, sweet nostalgic memories,
of our childhood, growth, college days,
with old relations: parents, siblings,
which our new relations: spouse, in-laws,
may not value as much as we do.
The new relations, husband or wife too,
are more intimate and comfortable with,
their old relations: parents, siblings,
and less inclined towards their new found relations,
through the spouse, i.e. in-laws.

The new relations, newly wedded couple,
both husband and wife, have mutual expectations,
to be given supreme importance, in the new relationship;
over and above spouse's parents.
After marriage, spouses must live as per their choice,
with least interference by in-laws directly,
or indirectly by offering unsolicited advice,
and the new family should be self-reliant with full autonomy in life.

Among relations,
there is always rivalry, followed by jealousy;
human beings are possessive by nature.
Parents will be reluctant to accept,
secondary status in dealing with their son or daughter after marriage,
would like to retain the previous intimacy;
which will be rightly resisted by spouse,
and is not practical any more.
The new equation will be realised, but it may lag slightly;
and dilute harmony in the family.

If only we could learn,
that a new universe has begun, with a new relationship,
the husband and wife,
who, in the foot steps of Adam and Eve,
are about to begin the same journey,
to start a world of their own;
and if we could stop finding fault or offering suggestions endlessly,
to the newly wedded couple,
and let them explore the married life on their own,
there will be pleasant panorama in the families all over the world;
denied at present.
The young couple too could add harmony in the families,
by just loving and respecting the in-laws,
i.e. the spouse's parents and siblings;
and not cold shouldering, as at present..

It is not so easy, old traditions die hard,
it is carrying on like this, since time immemorial,
because we hardly believe in,
'do unto others what you want done unto you'.
Why can't we have equal friendship,
with old friends or relations of the spouse?

We are all imperfect human beings;
but we expect our loved ones to behave like perfect humans.
God has implanted, incorrigible imperfections in humanity,
to test our fortitude, our ability,
to discriminate right or wrong attitude,
and live in peace.

We have failed so far, in the history of our civilisation,
and there is no attempt, to correct it even now.
We failed in the past and we are destined to fail in future,
for we are not even aware of,
what is wrong;
the failure is prevalent,
in every household in the world,
and is painful.
The old and new relations are at loggerhead,
with deceptive peace, utter disregard to each other, camouflaged by civility.

May God bless us all,
to overcome 'duality' in our minds and actions;
duality i.e. who are mine, who are not,
whom I can love spontaneously, whom I can't,
with whom, I can share life and communicate, with whom I can't,
and resolve to give genuine, informal love to our in-laws;
same as we reserve for our own parents and siblings.

A Complete Overview of Therapy by Phone

Any type of psychological service that is performed over the phone is therapy by phone. This includes crisis hotlines, child help lines, quit lines and professional counseling. This type of therapy can range from individuals to couples or even groups with either professional therapists or para-professional counselors. Many patients who are in face-to-face therapy are often advised to use telephone crisis numbers when they cannot reach their therapist in an emergency.

Therapy by phone is a growing trend in which a number of psychologists and therapists are seeing at least some of the patients over the phone instead of in person. Current studies show that more than 50 percent of the patients that have had both phone therapy and in person therapy prefer to do it over the phone. In fact, during a 2002 study it was proven that the patients who prefer phone counseling tend to rate their doctors as highly as those who see their doctor face-to-face.

There are, of course, disadvantages and advantages to choosing therapy by phone. Let us start by reviewing the disadvantages first. For some, using phone therapy makes them feel like there is too much distance between themselves and their therapist. For these people, they may safer to be in the presence of another person.

Another large disadvantage is that, since the client can call from any location, they can easily be distracted from their phone call. On one hand, it can allow the therapist to have some insight to their patient's situation but at the same time, the disruptions may make it difficult for the patient to stay focused on the session.

In the event that the phone therapy takes place with an organization staffed by several employees or volunteers, such as a hotline, a repeat caller will not be able to develop the same relationship that they can with an individual. This may impede their progress especially since these type of organizations usually have limits on the number of calls that can be made in a specified period of time and the amount of time a call can last.

Typically patients that are going to require more than one weekly session, which are suicidal or who self-harm are not good candidates for therapy by phone. With the exception of the suicide hotline, many of these phone counselors are not trained to handle local emergencies.

Perhaps the largest advantage of therapy by phone versus in-person therapy is that it is free from the traditional constraining factors that can have an effect on therapy. For example, there are no restrictions on the location you can call from. If you have a busy schedule and need to call during a lunch break, you can arrange that with the therapist.

While therapy by phone is not for everyone, there are cases where it is the optimal type of therapy. Many studies have shown that this type of therapy can be especially effective for patients who are suffering with depression and are not motivated to leave their homes.

Great Approaches in Dealing With A Stubborn Partner

Understanding the importance of the seven secrets and the need for using fair fighting and good communication is great-but what happens if your partner is stubborn, resistant, and refuses to play by the rules?

In some cases, you may be able to win your partner over. In others, however, you may need to seriously assess the value of your relationship.

When your relationship is struggling or has already ended due to the stubbornness of your partner, try these approaches:

• Talk: Open up to your partner and express your desire to build a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship. If you have already split up, state your desire to get back together and rebuild on a stronger foundation. Give your partner time to listen and respond. Not every relationship is salvageable, but many are if both partners work together.

• Evaluate: Once you have explained your intent and your position and listened to what your partner has to say, take the time to evaluate your situation. If you and your partner are in trouble or have split up due to minor concerns, you may be able to overcome the issues by employing the seven secrets yourself. If your problems are more serious (cheating, violence, or total lack of respect), carefully evaluate whether your decision to stay and rebuild is the right one.

• Encourage open-mindedness: If you have decided to work on your relationship, set the example by overcoming stubbornness yourself. Work on exploring all possibilities together. Learn to give and take, even on points you have been reluctant to concede in the past. Show your partner that you are willing to compromise and he or she may be willing to bend a little as well.

Stubbornness can be a major obstacle in building a healthy, strong relationship. If both you and your partner are willing to work at it, it is possible to overcome. The most important thing is to lead by example.

Depression And Other Illnesses

Depression, other forms of mental illness, and physical illnesses can all pose serious challenges to even the healthiest of couples. It can be very difficult-though not impossible-to overcome the damage they can cause to your relationship.

If both partners are willing, these issues can be overcome to save the relationship. The trick is caring for you, your partner, and your relationship as almost separate entities.

To help yourself when your partner is suffering from depression or another serious illness, remember that you are also an individual with your own needs. Studies have shown that people with partners who are depressed or physically ill can often mimic the symptoms. This is not healthy for you, your partner, or your relationship.

While it is perfectly acceptable to empathize with your partner, it's important to focus on your own health. Maintain your own identity during an illness by keeping a positive outlook and doing things to boost your mood.

To help your partner, encourage medical intervention (if necessary), maintain an upbeat attitude, and rely heavily on the secret of understanding. Your partner is going through a very difficult time and can benefit from your love and compassion. Don't enable, however-encourage your partner to get on a healthier path.

It is possible to get through a serious illness and come out stronger as a couple. Make sure medical treatment is provided and that the healthy partner stays strong and positive.

Taking care of yourself during an illness is not selfish. If you and your partner both have faith in your abilities to weather the storm, your relationship could grow even stronger in the process.

Damage control

Relationships are like roller coasters: sometimes they're up and sometimes they're down. If you are in a struggling relationship or if a split has already occurred, it may not be too late to repair the damage. It is sometimes possible to rebuild and get yourselves on a positive path.

When damage has been done to a relationship, it can take time and serious effort from both you and your partner to repair it. It is almost never impossible to rebuild trust, respect, and love. The key is determining if the effort is truly worth it and if your heart is really in it.

Before beginning the repair process, you and your partner may want to give yourselves a little time. Evaluate your situation and look at it with fresh eyes to see where you've gone wrong, what you could have done differently, and how you might proceed to create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship. You may decide not to proceed, but if you do, here are some tips to getting back on solid footing.

The 5-Minute Rule and What It Can Do to Fix Your Relationship

You've had a long tiring day at work and when you get at home, you get into an argument with your partner. What were you even fighting about? You don't remember. Many couples deal with the same situation and these fights might last longer than they need to. It does get tiring and worrisome. Fortunately, there is a way for you to minimize conflict in your relationship. Keep your eyes peeled because we are sharing with you some important information!

No matter what you say, first impressions are important. Even as you try to fight it, judgments and decisions are easily made based on how you feel about meeting or seeing a person for the first time. In fact, research has been done on how different colors and typography can have an effect on people and how they perceive your brand or advertisement. This is why it is so important for businesses to get these things right in order to create the right positive image for themselves.

You can actually do the same to fix your relationship! If you do have a positive and healthy relationship with your partner, you probably get to see each other often and have things go very smoothly. In this case, you don't have a lot of moments where you get to see each other for the "first time".

The 5-minute rule comes in handy at this point. The 5-minute rule states that the first 5 minutes you spend with your partner after not having seen each other for a while can have a great impact on how your day and conversations will proceed from thereon. Yes, you actually have a say on how the mood will be, which makes the very first 5 minutes crucial to fix your relationship and rekindle your love.

Spending a great day with your partner is in your hands. You can avoid getting into an argument or at least minimizing the tension with how you move the minute you see him. No matter how bad your day must have been, it will be a nice feeling to walk up to him smiling. Your partner may have the urge to talk about some problems later on, but don't take that as a threat. As with any healthy relationship, good communication is essential. Just be understanding and don't let anybody ruin your day. In fact, if you decide to be happy and you won't have to learn how to fix your relationship in the first place.

Everyone Has Place, Everyone Belongs

Connection in life is such an important matter it's truly the way God ordained our beings to exist. We want so much to be accepted and we know the excruciating power of rejection. When we are rejected for what we do or for who we are we are torn to the heart, and we feel we have no place in that place.

But God brought each of us into being.

If this were not so, how then do we explain our lives? Beyond our parents' planning, God is the one that made it happen; God brought us into the miraculous state of life, and sustains us to this very day.

We belong here.

This is an incontrovertible fact. Earth is a place for everyone. Not one person is here by accident. And though this seems obvious, we only have to look through our own lives to come face-to-face with the people we have rejected or those who have rejected us.

Acceptance is not as straightforward an idea as we might think.

Indeed, just like God's love seems so basic, the matter of acceptance is a difficult concept even for the most loving of people. For example, we don't want to appear as racially divided, yet we still have barriers between us and people of other cultures; we are self-conscious, not wanting them to pick up that we feel uncomfortable. But this self-consciousness is driven by love, because we don't want to offend them.

Still, there is a lack of authenticity and that is picked up, so often, as a rejection.

FAITH IN A PLACE

The challenge ahead of us, particularly where we see evidence of a lack of fit, is to have hope that there is a place for us; that we fit somewhere. Faith will energise our journey and take us all the way to the reception of it.

Faith in this way is not getting despondent and not giving up on the vision God has for our lives: 1) to be loved and 2) to love, and through these two the provision of hope for a good future.

Because we have life and we have a role in living this life, that we have this place, we have a license to bring meaning to that sense of place.

If we feel lonely, discouraged, or we are hurting, there is a lack of sense of place. It might be just for a season, but we know in our lack that our lack speaks more about the lack of place than anything else.

Our opportunity is to believe: 1) we do belong, and 2) there is a belonging place for us to be found, and then enjoyed.

***

On Earth there is a place for everyone and everyone has a place. God has ordained this by our existence. Finding our place can be problematic. We need faith to not give up. There is a place for each of us where we can love and be loved, and know hope.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Relationships Based on Lying

If you have read a women's magazine, you know there always seems to be an article about lying in a relationship. "Little white lies" can often seem harmless enough. It's easy to think it is not hurting anybody and no one will ever know, but isn't this really a measurement for integrity and personal responsibility? I've often heard from my employers that they are appalled when a candidate exaggerates on their resume. Right off the bat candidates are setting a premise of dishonesty- why would someone want to hire a person like this? Candidates are advised to be truthful and honest in their representation of themselves.

This strong belief that candidates should be 100% truthful on their resumes and applications is a well-founded concept. But what happens when a company is lying to the candidate? This is the other side to the coin that people rarely ever consider. We get so caught up in thinking it is the candidates being less than honest, we never stop to consider the possibility of it going both ways. According to the Reader's Digest article "Get Hired, Not Fired: 50 Secrets That Your HR Person Won't Tell You", company personnel have been known to lie to candidates as well. For example, here are two excerpts from the Reader's Digest article:

"Background checks are expensive. Sometimes we bluff, get you the fill out the form and don't run it," states Cynthia Shapiro, former human resource executive and author.

"Sometimes, we'll tell you we ended up hiring someone internally- even if we didn't- just to get you off our backs." HR rep at a Fortune 500 Financial services Firm

At the end of the day, if lying is a standard practice in your company, you will not be able to hire good people and expect them to stay. You are creating a culture within your company, and if it is one that includes not always telling the whole truth, the expectation that you could then hire honorable, truthful others goes out the window. Instead, run a strategic, authentic, well defined interview process. Be upfront and completely committed to a healthy environment for your employees- an environment that is based on truth telling. Creating this culture of truth and mutual respect will help support the company in being one of value. The rewards will far outweigh any benefit you may have received by lying to your people.

This article is sponsored by real estate news.

What Are the Top 10 Ways to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

If you and your man broke up, don't worry because there are 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back. Don't lose hope easily and give up. There's still a chance for you and your man to get back together.

So what are the 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back?

1. Don't ignore him completely

If he's trying to reach out to you, there's no need to be rude and refuse to answer his calls because you want to play hard to get. If you see him, act nice and say hi. Ignoring him will only make you look immature.

2. No contact

While you don't need to ignore him completely, you also don't need to contact him all the time especially if the breakup is recent. Give each other space and don't annoy him to death by sending text messages at 3 in morning or calling him all the time.

3. Don't give him the upper hand

If you let him know that you miss him and that you're lost without him then you're giving him the upper hand. He won't be in a rush to get you back then because he knows you'll be waiting for him no matter how long it takes.

4. Grieve and wallow

Give in those feelings and wallow in order to heal. You need to get it out of your system or it's going to eat you and you won't be able to think straight. You're going to be desperate and needy and do things like call him and bug him because you want his attention.

5. Find other things to focus on

Your grieving period should have a time limit. After a few days, you need to get back on your feet and live your life again. Find other things to focus on such as your work or hobbies. You need to stop thinking about the breakup otherwise you're going to be obsess and that's never a good idea.

6. Accept the breakup and let him go

You can't force someone to stay with you. If you want him back then you need to accept the breakup and let him go first. If you don't let him go and continue to cling then he's going to think that this breakup really is the best idea for both of you.

7. Smile and be nice

When you see your ex, try not to be rude and show him just how bitter and angry you are. He's not going to want to talk to you if he senses that you want to bite his head off. And if he doesn't want to talk to you then how can you get him back?

8. Forgive and forget

He hurt you but you also have your share of mistakes. You need to forgive and forget if you ever want to start fresh with him. Holding on to grudges isn't good because you will end up being bitter and angry all the time.

9. Don't flirt with other men

Don't play games and try to make him jealous. He's going to think that maybe you've moved on and it's time for him to move on as well. Or he's going to retaliate and start going out with other women just to irritate you.

10. Be patient

Out of the 10 ways to get your ex boyfriend back, being patient is probably one of the most important. These things could take time and you need to keep your cool otherwise you may end up annoying him with your constant phone calls or blaming him for your broken heart.

Meet Australian Singles At Online Dating Sites

The world of online dating sites with Australian singles is very interesting to see. People can use one of many different dating sites to find Australian singles. Here's a look at a few of the top options for people to take a look at. These have their own different features but they might be of use to just about anyone looking for love down under.

Some places that allow Australian singles to meet each other can include details on individual singles. These include places that let people search through large databases of singles with a variety of different characteristics in mind. It's a useful tool considering the large wealth of Australian singles in the dating circuit.

It's never been easier to get pictures set up on these sites. Many of these online dating sites will let visitors send in their own personal photos through their computers or their social media profiles. People can use these pictures to confirm their identities at times.

Ice-breaking messages can also be sent to other people. This traditionally involves the use of a command to get in touch with someone by simply clicking on a particular icon or command. This will give a person access to someone's account with a brief message. This message should appear in a message box on the recipient's profile.

More singles are using these websites because they often include personality analysis tools. People can answer several questions on a site and have their personalities analyzed through a specific algorithm determined by the website. This is used to analyze the personality of a member with others to see who that person might be more compatible with.

Different sites may cater to different kinds of relationships that people want to have with each other as well. For example, some sites might focus on people who want to look for relationships that are made with long-term results in mind. These are particularly relationships that would result in marriage after a period of time. This is an interesting consideration but it is also one that may be of use for those who are looking for Australian singles for reasons well beyond friendship.

Sometimes a site might have a number of articles for members. Articles can cover many of the key topics and needs that people have for dating. The information on a site like this should be particularly notable for its details on everything that singles can do when finding each other.

The final thing to see about online dating sites is that they are free to use for the most part. There are some cases where people have to pay to get access to some of the advanced features on a site. However, these sites traditionally do not require contracts for certain periods of time.

The online dating sites that people can go to when finding Australian singles are interesting places to find. These options all have their own particular characteristics but are all made to give people the opportunities they want to find singles that they might potentially be interested in.

How to Get a Boyfriend Back - 9 Things That Never Work

How to get a boyfriend back is quite a challenge. It's never easy trying to get someone you love back in your life. After all, you broke up for a reason.

So how do you get your man to come back to you? When it comes to how to get a boyfriend back, there are certain things that would never work and would only make your situation worse. Here are the things you need to avoid doing.

1. Being demanding. You can't make demands and order him to come back to you. He would only scoff and think that you're crazy for thinking that you're the boss of him.

2. Feeling like the victim. Don't be so hard on yourself and think that the whole world is against you. Pity parties never work and he won't want to come back to you if he thinks you're depressed and being a crybaby.

3. Chasing him. Pursuing him will only make him want to distance himself further. He's only going to think of you as an annoying lost puppy. If you want him back, it's better if you find ways to make him chase you.

4. Broadcasting your feelings to kingdom come. It's one thing to tell your friends how you feel but it's a bad idea to tell everyone within hearing distance just how miserable you are. He's going to think like you're doing this to get his attention or to have someone pity you. It's unlikely that he's going to bite.

5. Phone calls everyday. Which part of "I need some time" did you not understand? If he said he needs time and space to think things through then you know that it's a bad idea to bombard him with phone calls. The only thing constant contact will accomplish is making him even more frustrated with you.

6. Not saying you're sorry. He may not be so forgiving at first but you still need to apologize for your mistakes. Even though you're both at fault it would show that you were brave enough to face and admit that you were wrong. He's going to see this as a mature gesture and would really appreciate it.

7. Seeing red. If he's in a rebound relationship, don't treat it as a war and say "bring it on b++++!" It may not even be a serious relationship and maybe he's just doing this to deal with the pain. Acting like Rambo with nail polish and making a scene is not the most attractive things you can do.

8. Payback. He hurt you now you want to hurt him? Not a good idea which means that you shouldn't play games such as making him feel jealous just to see his reaction. What good would it do? Either he thinks you've moved on and he would move on as well or he's going to think it's just a pathetic attempt to get his attention.

9. Bite me. When it comes to how to get a boyfriend back, the "bite me" attitude doesn't really work. You can be cool and collected and act like you're in control when you see him. But if you're rude and let him know that you're bitter and resentful then he's going to be turned off and wouldn't bother talking to you again.

Relationship Breakup Advice - Is It Time To Move On

Experiencing a relationship break up is rough on both of those concerned. When you have invested so much time building a relationship with your significant other then it all comes to an end, it can be a serious let down. You may or may not consider it time to move on.

There are numerous reasons a relationship can fail. Your partner may change over time and they are no longer the same person you first met or it could be you that has changed. Maybe the relationship became boring and one of you is seeking something different. Regardless of the reason a break up can be hard to deal with.

Fortunately not all relationships end on a bad note. Sometimes a couple just decides to go their separate ways on good terms. This would be the best case scenario for a break up because nobody is hurt and bad feelings normally do not exist. But the reality is that not many break ups go that way.

When a bad break up takes place one or both of the couple may need some relationship break up advice. One big tip for those who want their ex back is not to beg. There may still be some love between the two of you but if your ex has decided things will not work out then there is not much you can do.

If you where to persist in begging them you will only lower yourself in their eyes, you want to avoid annoying them. You may be hurt but your best bet is accept their decision and move on. The longer you dwell on it the worse you will feel and it can prevent you from moving ahead with your life.

Also think back on your relationship to see what went wrong. Be honest with yourself if you were the cause of the break up, learn from your mistake. Use it as a learning experience so you do not repeat your mistakes. If you find your ex was at fault in causing your break up, try to avoid someone like them in the future. Why put yourself through the same experiences again.

Unfortunately when you enter into a relationship you never truly know everything about your partner. You never know if the two of you are a good match until you have spent some time together and experience them. If you do break up then don't get discouraged, there are many more prospects out there for a new relationship and a chance you will find your perfect match.

Tips on How to Break Up With Someone

If you are unhappy in a relationship and have tried your hardest to make things work, but to no avail, you may want to considering breaking up with your partner. However, breaking up can be tough, and that's why we have developed these tips on how to break up with someone.

Be certain that you want to break up with them

First and foremost, you have to be 100% certain that you want to break up with your partner. Remember that you are playing with their feelings here, so don't put them through a break up only to want them back a few days or weeks later. They deserve better than that. Therefore, if you can, it's always best to try and work through any difficult times in a relationship and use a break up as a last resort.

Do it face to face

You should always try to break up with someone face to face. Obviously, this might be tough if you are in a long distance relationship, but if you are able to do it face to face that is always best. There is nothing worse than getting a text or email from your partner saying they want to break up with you.

Stay calm

Make sure that you are calm when breaking up with someone; you don't want to be more emotional about it all than they are.

Be prepared for the unknown

It is extremely difficult to predict how someone will react to a break up, so be prepared for every emotion possible and be sure to handle the situation delicately. They could handle it really well, there could be tears and shouting, you just don't know. No one should be happy the experience a break up.

Keep your distance

Once you have broken up with them, you need to keep your distance. Don't go round there house or text them, just leave them to it for a few weeks. Furthermore, if they constantly try to ask you to take them back you should just politely say no and keep your distance, avoid their phone calls for a bit if you have to.

There are plenty more fish in the sea, so please don't stay in an unhappy relationship to spare the other person's feelings or for whatever reason. You and they will find someone else who is a better match; it's just a part of life that we all experience at some point. Hopefully, you should now be more prepared and understand a few more things about how to break up with someone.

Challenging Situations of Social Isolation

"If you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."
~Jodi Picoult

Anyone who has dealt with the felt sense of an overriding betrayal of a friend or group, akin to any sort of community, knows, by bitter experience, the truth in the above statement.

There are times when we have all sought our solitude, because it was the only safe place to run. People may say they love their alone-time, and that is occasionally the case, because there is the need physical, mental, or emotional renewal, but when people actively seek prolonged seclusion there is usually the presence of hurt within.

The fact is, as humans we have the preponderance for affinity; for connection.

We need to connect, and anyone challenging this idea could ask themselves, "Am I hurt by people (or hurting because of people) in any way?"

In my own life, I recall times in my late teens where I would routinely shut myself out from my social world for days at a time because I was sick of the way my peers treated me. There seemed to be some inner satisfaction in doing this; though I was not a believer at this stage, I perhaps felt the reassuring Presence of God, somehow. But, realistically, this reassuring presence - known to exacerbate and justify the isolation - was probably more reassurance from the devil, for Satan loves to get us isolated and get into our heads that way. But I certainly drew strength from having the power to segregate myself and to dream up goals in the manner of: "I'll show them!"

THE SOURCE OF CHURCH AND FAMILY HURTS

Because churches, individual bodies' of Christ, exist around social bounds under God, there will always be friction to the point of people feeling out of touch, misunderstood, not listened to, unloved - rejected. If only we could understand this as an ever present threat. These dynamics affect any 'family' set-up in the crisis of felt betrayal.

Particularly for the person who is prone to feelings of abandonment - those who have some union to an anxious attachment - this is a real threat. They will, from time to time, feel rejected by anyone who may not concur with their line of thinking; who resists closeness of heart and mind to them. These feelings of rejection, if we were wise, would be challenged in truth, so we could see the role fear is playing to disturb our sense for connection - pressuring our sense of connectedness.

If we would honour the truth, and see these feelings as they are, we may avoid the need to isolate ourselves.

We may rise above the felt pettiness of others in order to glorify God in our hurt.

NEVER GIVING UP ON FINDING A PLACE TO BELONG

All of us belong somewhere. If truth were known, we actually belong in any good place, but we need to feel like we belong.

Many are the experiences of people against that flow, however.

They may never have felt that; a sense of true belonging. But our passionate commitment to find a place where we truly belong is rewarded when we resolve to never give up. But in order to find such a place we need to do our own inner work of preparation.

The fact we must come against is, we will be hurt.

People hurt people, but it is our role to utilise the wisdom and power of God to reconcile that hurt, rising above it. It is hurt people who hurt people. When we see this, we see a fearful individual (or individuals) who has/have hurt us, and we can have compassion for them. And sometimes it is us who are plain wrong, and in those cases we need to have the humility to admit we're wrong. Many, many schisms come about because of sinful pride. Let's be honest; being honest and swallowing our pride is a far better personal result.

If we are to get on we must aim to get on. Doing that is about compromise; a meeting of the minds and hearts, or at least agreeing to disagree without caging resentment.

***

Because, as humans, we were made to connect, isolation may be one of the worst kinds of life there is. We cannot know love, and be blessed by love, in isolation. And neither can we grow in isolation. The best of life exists where we feel we belong. Upon bouts of feeling isolated we need to, again, expand out into our world in courage to reconnect.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

3 Tips for Attracting Higher Quality Women

As bad as it may be to single if you really want a girlfriend, it can be even worse to end up with the wrong woman or a woman who just doesn't measure up to what you really want. Some guys seem to resort to the "I'll take anything" method of getting dates, sometimes because they don't believe they can attract higher quality women and sometimes, it just comes from feeling lonely. However, if you were to ask any guy that ended up with a woman who made his life worse, you'll know that it's not always wise to have that mentality of taking what you can get.

Here are 3 tips that are going to help you attract higher quality women so you don't have to deal with a woman who'll end up making you more miserable than you were when you were single:

1. Without having standards of what you want and what you do want in a woman, you can't expect to end up with a woman who measures up to your ideal.

This is one of the main problems that guys who will hook up with any woman that they can get end up having. Because they don't have standards, they end up dismissing obvious signs that a woman isn't worth dating and they proceed to date her anyway. Some guys will think that having standards like this makes them superficial, but I don't think so. If you want to end up with a woman who adds to your life and doesn't just take from it, you have to have baseline standards when it comes to the women you'll date.

2. Diving into the bottom of the barrel isn't going to help you attract a higher quality woman.

What I mean by this is, just about every city has bars and clubs where the women who frequent them are not the kind you would be proud to date. So, those are the kinds of places that you need to avoid when you go out to meet women. Even if it means spending a little more money at the door, it's worth it in the end.

3. You have to really know how to impress a woman if you want to date higher quality women.

This is really key here. Let's say that your ideal woman would have her own job, be on a career path, etc. Well, you are not going to want to try to impress her by bragging about how many beers you can chug. You want to impress her with things about yourself that she probably values and finds attractive in a guy.

How to Heal Your Relationship With Your Boyfriend and Bring Back the Passion

When your boyfriend touches your hand, do you still feel shivers run up and down your spine? If you shook your head, then don't worry. You aren't alone. In the early stages of a committed relationship, it is quite natural for couples to kiss each other passionately and to have sex anywhere and everywhere. In the later stages, however, those same couples might just end up having dinner at home and chilling in front of the television set every night.

What you need to remember is that you cannot blame yourself if this is happening to you. It takes two to tango. So, no matter how much your boyfriend has changed - whether he has stopped being spontaneous or has stopped professing his love to you completely - you need to realize that he might be feeling the same way. Think about it: when was the last time you put your boyfriend first and brought some heat into your relationship? If you think that you need to learn how to heal your relationship as soon as possible, then here's what you have to do:

Be Vocal about Your Feelings

If you want to learn how to heal your relationship, you have to learn how to exchange your ideas with your boyfriend. You might love hearing him talk about how much he misses and loves you, but you will have to do the same for him, too. Guys happen to thrive on hearing that girls need them and how great they are. So, tell him these sweet nothings and make sure you don't pout or sulk about certain things if you haven't talked about it yet. Since your boyfriend isn't a mind reader, this type of behavior simply wouldn't be fair to him.

Walk the Talk

As important as communication might be, you have to act according to your words, as well, if you want to learn how to heal your relationship with your boyfriend. In other words, you have to walk the talk. Remember: 90% of what you say is conveyed through your body language, so make sure you express exactly what you want to through it.

Be Spontaneous

If you want to learn how to heal your relationship, then you will have to give in to spontaneity every once in a while. No matter how crazy an idea may seem, the minute you grab your boyfriend and ask him to do something fun out of nowhere, it is sure to keep the passion in your romance alive.

Relationship Advice - Was The Relationship Doomed From The Beginning?

It's over. Your relationship has officially ended. Although the end of a relationship is usually not pleasant, this time it's different. Although there is sadness, you have a much more settled feeling than you thought you would have. It's almost a sense of relief. Why is that? Is it because you realize this really wasn't the right person to be with? Did things take a turn for the worse at the end... or was the relationship doomed from the beginning and you never really admitted it to yourself?

Sometimes our heart knows what is right and our head won't admit it. It could be the other way around. Either way, we can sometimes fool ourselves into believing everything will be okay... when deep down we know that really isn't the truth. Why do we put ourselves through that? There are several reasons.

They might not always seem logical, but at the time they make perfect sense to us. We know better but we won't admit to ourselves we know better. We won't admit we have made a mistake. It's almost like we are trying to fool ourselves. But sooner or later it catches up with us. So why do we do it?

1. It makes us feel better. Perhaps you had just come out of a bad relationship and you wanted to believe this one was going to work out. Maybe you desperately wanted to break the chain of relationship disasters that had recently befallen you. It felt good to be with someone again, even though your ex didn't exactly match what you were looking for in a partner.

2. We thought we could change things. The foundation was somewhat okay so you falsely believed you could make the necessary adjustments in the belief everything would have eventually fallen into place. But all the adjustments that had to be made to make it acceptable were way too much and, in the end, it would not have been a healthy and happy relationship anyway.

3. We kid ourselves everything will be okay. You believed there was more to the relationship than there actually was. Why? Maybe you were tired of the dating scene. Maybe you just didn't want to be alone, you don't like being alone. Whatever the reason, you thought you could fool yourself. Unfortunately, that never works.

Most of the time, even early in the relationship, we know if the relationship is destined to collapse. We might not want to admit it, but the facts are there. That's why others often see it when we don't... because our perception is skewed and their's isn't.

What Men Want In A Relationship And Makes Them Commit

Many girls think and feel like men are not at all serious when it comes to a relationship. This misconception has probably arisen due to the lack of women's understanding about men. Just like women, men also look and wish for something in a relationship so they can truly commit to it. If you want your man to give himself fully to you, then you have to know what men want in a relationship.

Honesty

Everyone, regardless of gender, wants honesty. If a woman wants her man to be honest with her, so does a man from his girl; honesty in communication, particularly. Answer your man's questions honestly, keeping no intended secrets. He would probably appreciate if you will volunteer to give information. If you want something from him, openly and confidently ask so he can provide it for you. Keep in mind that a true man will need and want you to be straightforward; to communicate courageously with no criticism or anger.

Confidence, Security, Self-sufficiency

In dating women, men know that they need to exude confidence to the women they want to attract. In the same way, men also want this quality from the women they are in a relationship with. In everything a woman does, her man wants her to feel confident, secure and self-sufficient. A man knows that his woman is a lady of value; someone who has her own skills and capabilities to be proud of. However, this level of confidence must not to arrogance. If that happens, then she will fail to be a worthy partner to her man.

No Manipulation

Remember that men want their women to find their own fulfillment as an individual and as their partner in the relationship. Similarly, they also want that women will not manipulate them. While it is true that when two people decide to be in a relationship, two will inevitably become one. Yet, this does not mean that one can manipulate the other to become like him or her, just to achieve the goal of becoming one. Becoming one is reaching mutual understanding and agreement between opposing perceptions of two people involved. There should be no forcing or handling just to make the other person agree. This agreement can be achieved through proper communication and open-mindedness.

Worthwhile Sex

Relationship between man and woman will not be complete without sex and intimacy. Sex or intercourse is the consummation of their love for one another. Men do not merely want sex that is consistent or regular. A number of women may think that the only thing important for men is to be able to stick their thing and get relief from release. Any man in a relationship with the woman he loves will want to make love to her and not just mate with her. Thus, sexual activity should be done with passion, love, enthusiasm. You should not give your man simply your body, but also your heart and your mind during intercourse.

Humor

Men also look for humor in a relationship. A serious relationship does not necessarily mean that it will be filled only with days of solemnity. You can take something seriously without completely taking away the fun, enjoyment and laughter. Simply be spontaneous in his company, letting out your funny side to make him laugh. You will realize that the more he enjoys your company, the more he will value you.

Attract Girls Online: Transform Your Facebook Profile to a Girl Magnet!

Are you frustrated over not getting any girls online? Tired of sending countless messages without receiving a reply? There are so many beautiful women out there with real profiles waiting to be approached. Most of these women who are online are actually very open towards making new friends and building new connections. Specially with the rise of Social Networking sites such as Facebook, you would find that almost every girl has created an online profile on at least one of these social networking sites. These girls have to keep in touch with their friends in school, colleagues at work and with their families and hence Facebook is a convenient solution for them.

This is good news for you if you want to build new connections with beautiful, high status girls. The best thing about online dating is that it leaves you with plenty of options. When it comes to attracting girls online, there really is no approach anxiety or fear of speaking awkwardly and making a fool of yourself. Attracting girls online is actually very easy.

Online attraction is easy, but it certainly has its set of skills which need to be learnt. The reason why you are not having any success with girls on Facebook or any other network, is because you have no idea of the skills of online attraction.

First of all you should realize that the girls you are trying to attract online have absolutely no idea of who you are, and any impression they have of you will be ENTIRELY dependent on your PROFILE! Your Profile will be the ONLY way of communicating your personality, achievements, traits, preferences and beliefs.

Your Profile should effectively communicate everything that attracts these girls instead of repulsing them. Simply said, your profile should bring out all the positive aspects of your life. It could be your appearance, career, social status, wealth etc. Women love to be with successful men, and if your profile conveys that you're a winner, women would soon be flooding your inbox with messages! But going through some of the profiles on Facebook, it seems that some guys have no clue on how to build a winner's profile. So here's some advice on how to amp up your Facebook profile!

1 Profile Picture

This is the most important aspect of your profile. You absolutely need to get this right. We've all heard that first impressions really matter. And yes, a girl's first impression of you will depend entirely on your profile picture. If your profile picture interests her and seems appealing to her, she would visit your profile to know more about you. If your profile picture bores her, she wouldn't even bother checking out your profile. Even if you do have plenty of other cool pics and fun quotations, she wouldn't even know! You will be just one of the hundreds of friends in her friends list and soon you'll be lost in the crowd. Think about it, would you check out a girl's profile, if her profile pic seemed horribly ugly to you? (If you answered 'yes' by any chance, leave immediately) So how do you get your profile pic right?

Here's how. Your profile picture should convey one or more of the following traits: Fun, Adventurous, Strong, Rich, Intelligent and Socially confident. The more traits your profile pic portrays, the better. Try to hit on as many as you can with your profile pic. Let's say your profile pic is of you with your friends at a party, this conveys you're fun, socially confident and maybe even rich. Suppose your pic is of you rock climbing; this conveys you're adventurous, fun and strong. But of course these are just ideas and you should be smart enough to take pics in a way that conveys these traits. But I hope you get the idea. Try to hit on as many positive traits with your profile pic. Be creative, but stay sensible. Don't forget to pay attention to the brightness, contrast and sharpness of your profile picture. Some pictures are so dull and dark you can't figure out who's in it. Don't make that mistake. The new Facebook profile has a new feature of a 'cover photo'. Treat this the same way you would treat the profile picture. Remember the traits!

2 'About Me' section

This is a great chance for you to tell girls what you're passionate about and what you aim to achieve in life. Show that you have a clear purpose and aim in life and that you are having loads of fun on your way getting there. A man with purpose is very attractive to women. Keep it short of course. No one would want to read lengthy paragraphs.

3 Favourite Quotations

This will show your beliefs and the people who truly inspire you. Fill this section up with motivational quotes and with quotes from great personalities related to your career. Even funny quotes would be fine. Just keep it interesting. 'If you're going through hell, then just keep going!', or ' If I hadn't seen Disney world in my mind, the rest of the world would've never seen it for real'-Walt Disney, are examples of good quotations.

4 Be mindful of what you share and what you associate yourself with on Facebook

With the new Newsfeed feature, as soon as you 'like' or 'comment' on a link or a post, a whole lot of people will get to know about it immediately. So be careful of what posts and photos you 'like'. Don't get involved in hate campaigns, racially oriented posts or even sexist stuff. This lowers your image and if you want to attract girls, you want to maintain a high status. As men, we are expected to be in control of our emotions. So show her that you are a strong man who is in control of yourself. Remember also never to 'like' or 'comment' positively on photos depicting half-naked women, or explicit material. Always remember that you have to maintain the status of a noble man. This will make girls feel safer approaching you and talking to you online.

5 Bridge the gap between your 'Online self' and Real self

The entire purpose of attracting girls online is to build a lasting connection with them in real life. The online platform obviously makes it easier to approach them and create the attraction within them. But remember online attraction is just the doorway toward getting these girls into your real life. So in real life you need to BE the person you claim to be online. You shouldn't claim you are a rich businessman who travels around the world, if you are broke in real life. Always be honest of what you say online. The online game is built on trust. Work on yourself to really be the person you want to be. Go workout, educate yourself and work on building a career for yourself. This way the girls you attract online, will stay with you in real life! For more great tips and advice on how to attract girls online, visit my site

The Ultimate Key for Buying Presents for a Boyfriend's Birthday

Brainstorming for presents for a loved one's birthday is often exasperating, but this stress is multiplied by a million if that person is your boyfriend. Giving an impressive birthday present can say so many things about you: you're resourceful, fun, kind, and creative... and those things all describe you, don't they? Yet, in the face of that, shopping for your boyfriend's birthday remains freakin' hopeless.

Since I can remember I've broken my back to find the absolute best birthday gifts for my boyfriend(s). Heehee. After I'd ultimately mastered the art of discovering the perfect present (the trick is to work backwards), I decided to share my secrets. If you are feeling worried, sweating over thinking of that exact present that will cause him to smile ear to ear, I really pray that you'll continue reading and allow me to share my experience with you!

Before we get into the details, we should talk briefly about the overarching idea which we will be sticking to. Before tearing through millions of present recommendation discussion boards and steadily getting frustrated with the results, we need to slow down and mull over what type of present taker your lover is. If this sounds complex, it's not. There are 3 basic styles of gift accepters into which we will endeavor to shove your guy (I feel ya, he's much more perplexing than that, but you are gonna have to try). When it comes down to it, almost all boys are most pleased with birthday gifts that either practical, funny or sexy. Often boys will belong in more than one of these categories. But by starting by confining your gift to only one of these kinds of gifts, the finding of your ideal gift will be notably smoother.

Practical gifts are things that your boy will genuinely make use of on a day-to-day basis. In a way different from the alternative two categories of presents, it is reasonable that he might consider buying a thing resembling this one for himself if you didn't purchase it and give it to him first. Frequently, these types of presents are what you have been vigorously attempting to dream up - things he's mentioned that he loves, or the product he yearns for but simply doesn't have the cash for, etc. In almost every case, your man will be thrilled with a great practical presents, but they seem to be the trickiest to figure out. Here's an example: When I was in high school, I dated a guy who was obsessed with going on canoe trips, so I gave him a new tent. Not very sentimental, but I bet he still gets lots of use from the gift, almost a decade after we broke up.

Presents that are looked upon as funny are a little bit stupid, but will frequently plaster an ear to ear smile on his face. If you and your boyfriend are in a brand new relationship, a funny present is often an amazing way to make use of your imagination without spending too much. The easiest process to brainstorm a funny gift is to come up with something small and inexpensive that he adores (like a certain flavour of dessert) and utterly overdo it. Costco is your best friend. An alternative strategy is to tease him a little. The guy I was going out with when I was younger was eternally asking me to get out of bed and make breakfast for him after a night of aggressive drinking, so I got him a cookbook for hangovers.

At last, it's time for some real fun stuff - sexy gifts. Sexy gifts function in 2 ways: they have all of the positives of the funny gift, but with the added advantage of all the numerous flirtatious possibilities that you've opened the door to in your boyfriend's mind. Of course, you are free to take the provocativeness as far as you want (you are such a bad girl), but my own preference is the Kama Sutra Foreplay Card Game. It's sexy, it's silly, and there's no doubt it will result in many hilarious situations!

How Well Is Your Relationship Going?

I know that a point in time may come when you are wondering to yourself, "Man, I want a boyfriend and/or girlfriend." But when you think that to yourself, you have to ask yourself, "Why aren't I in a relationship to begin with." In a relationship, there isn't just touching and feeling and I want to be with him or her all day. If you are going to be a in a relationship there are a lot of other things to consider, especially if you are between the age groups 15-25. Just like other things in life there comes responsibility, trust and communication as well as love, peace, and happiness. When you do not have these things in your relationship, then you don't have a relationship at all, at least not a good one. There needs to be some type of structure in the relationship or it will just crumble.

When you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, you always want to remember that you are not looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right now. They must have high standards that also meet your high standards. You might also want to keep in mind "Would I allow this person to eat dinner with my mother", if you can not answer this question truthfully, then it's probably best that you don't even think twice about being with them. Communication is also another important factor in being in a relationship; communicating doesn't mean just talking, communicating also means being honest with each other at all times even when it could potentially hurt the other. You BOTH always want to remember to keep that communication bond as strong as you can... AT ALL TIMES!

When you are young the most important thing that need to keep in mind is that you are still a child yourself. This means that you need to also keep your priorities in order; in short don't fall in love too soon. When teenagers fall in love to soon they receive consequences that they are not able to control or take back in the future. For example, teen pregnancy. Even though teen pregnancy has decreased in the past couple of years, doesn't mean that it doesn't still happen. The current teen rate is still at 86% in 2012. You always want to make smart decisions and think about other people and not just yourself. Be responsible. Life is and will always be what you make it. Control your own life. Take charge and have faith In God.

How To Make Him Miss You And Want You Back

Do not make yourself unhappy thinking that your ex-boyfriend does not miss you. Instead, look on the bright side of things. Being away from each other represents an opportunity to your ex to miss you, and consider his decision of putting an end to the relationship. As the old saying goes "Absence makes the heart fonder" therefore, you should make yourself unavailable to your ex, instead of calling him or sending him messages.

This article covers a handful of important tips, that you can apply to trigger your ex's curiosity and push him to miss you like he used to do when he first met you.

Give Him The Chance To Miss You:

If you make yourself too available to your ex, he won't see the need to check on you from time to time. Since you are always calling and messaging him why would he bother knowing what you are up to? Your ex needs the time and space to realize your importance in his life. If you get into contact with your ex more than it is needed, it is like you never went away.

Moreover, acting in such a way will make you come across as a needy person. Your ex will take you for granted, and he will never take any steps toward mending the relationship.

Get Yourself Involved in activities:

When you go out to see friends and practice your favorite pastime, you will be able to keep yourself busy, and chase away any negative thoughts that can hold you back from enjoying your life to its fullest. You can even take a step further and send your ex some pictures of you having nice time.

Your goal is to show him that you have succeeded to create your own happiness by only relying on yourself. When your ex sees that you are leading a confident and brilliant life, he cannot help but wants to be part of it.

Take Care Of Your Appearance:

Never neglect the importance of your appearance. Always be sure to wear the clothes that your ex once made nice comments about them, when you both used to hang out with each other. This act will remind him of the great moments you once had together. When you look fantastic, you will have a considerable effect on your ex.

From time to time, send him a short and delightful message where you cleverly pass a remark about a place you both visited, and you know it will remind your ex of many beautiful souvenirs you both enjoyed.

Sizzling Tips on Flirting for Girls

Exclusive Flirting Tips for Girls

Men are not the only ones who flirt. Women also want to flirt. And hence there are some tips on flirting for women also. Have you ever wondered why Romeo was head over heels for Juliet or why Brad Pitt is so much attracted to Angelina Jolie? What about David Beckham having such a successful married life with posh girl Victoria where other celebrities are splitting every now and then? The answer is successful flirting.

Girly Tips on Flirting

What do you actually mean by flirting? A way by which a woman can show a man that she is interested in him without saying the words directly is known as flirting. It is very common these days to send sexual text messages to the guy you find attractive. Flirting helps you to make the boys fall for you. It increases your charisma and sparkle. Here are a few tested and tried flirting tips for girls. Remember these are flirting tips for girls only, so if a guy is reading it better stop reading!

A Simple Smile can Make it so Easy!

One of the proven ways to make a guy come closer to you is to give him a simple smile. People who smile are always wanted. It is the easiest and safest way to tell a guy that you have some interest in him.

Looking Good Always is so Necessary

Make sure you look good always. This is because you have no idea where you will meet your special guy. Remember that beauty is like a guy magnet. Sport a hair style that suits you.try to wear clothes of those colors which suite you and your skin tone. Wear a few accessories to compliment your dress. Dress to kill!

Eye Contact is Damn Important

Another vital point is to make proper eye contact. Keep looking at him until he takes proper notice of you. This is a nice way of giving a genuine impression and sending the signal that you are interested in him, it may even start a conversation between you two.

Talk as well as Listen

Listening and Talking is another portion of communication. The way a girl converses and communicates to a guy shows her character and intentions. Do not be boring. You should also have a bit of sense of humor. You should make sure to use a proper accent. This is one of the most important tips on flirting.

Be Confident in your Approach

You should always remember that that man get attracted toward confident women. You should have a very positive mindset. Be relaxed and comfortable. Do not over do things. Have faith in yourself and carry a cheerful attitude.

Are these Tips on Flirting for Girls Effective?

By using these tips on flirting, girls can surely make themselves irresistible. With these tips it is also easier for the girls to get the guys they have been waiting for. All you should do is go through the above flirting tips for girls carefully and then there is no stopping you. Let us know what you think of them.