Getting over a breakup can be one of the hardest challenges you will face in this life (even if it was done amicably) especially when the ex you thought was your knight in shining armor, turned out to be a fox and you, little red riding hood. Yes, and men your angel sent from above manages to transform herself into a snake under grass. We all fall prey to the fangs of a breakup at some point in our lives (if you haven't, count your blessings). However, we cannot all just let it get the best of us. When sorrow thinks it's gotten its way, you nip it in the bud well before you have a nervous breakdown. Here are a few suggestions to transition from "in a relationship" to "single."
Cry me a River
Often times we view crying as a sign of weakness but there could not be a better prescription for a broken heart. All the pent up hurt and pain that is a heart attack waiting to happen can be released. However, you may want to do this in the confines of your home or somewhere private. The last thing you want is adding an "embarrassing situation" to your list of what you need to cry about. Look on the bright side; you are taking an important step in the healing process. According to Dr. Judith Orloff, author of Emotional Healing: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions And Transform Your Life, "Emotional tears have health benefits." She cited that biochemist Dr. William Frey discovered that emotional tears, "contains stress hormones that get excreted from the body through crying," and that, "crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body's natural painkiller and "feel-good" hormones." It is important, however, to bounce back in a reasonable time. If you must, allocate a grieving period, keep it short. We can't feel self-pity forever. Get up, dust yourself off, and learn to love again. Go ahead... BAWL.
Allocate a Post-Mortem period
Find someone who you can talk to, a close friend or family; anyone who will give an unbiased, yet sympathetic ear to your needs. Do not be afraid to employ the services of a counselor or therapist. No, you are not crazy but you are taking the steps necessary to maintain your sanity. Social interaction allows you to cleanse your system of the toxins of a bad relationship while focusing on moving forward. Choosing the right person to express your thoughts is also important. The "village P.R.O" may not be the right person if you do not want to be featured in the "Gossip central" section of your local newspaper. But why have friends if you can't trust at least one of them? You might also want to investigate the relationship to determine the source of the problem. If you were the problem, or at least a part of the problem (this is the time to be honest with yourself), then see where you went wrong and try to find ways in which you could have better dealt with the situation.
If your ex was the problem, then there may have been telltale signs that he exhibited and you ignored. Like when he disrespected you in front of friends, or when she was way too cozy with your best friend. Now you know some of the signs, if you see them again RUN like the world is ending. Think about the bad times. Here's a good one... the endless cheating. Tell yourself you deserve to be treated better, and feel justified. At this point your desire should be for a better relationship. Breathe a sigh of relief and holler at the top of your lungs, "I'm free." Think of it in a positive way: it could be another chance to find your Mr. Right. It's like a "get out of jail free" card... just in time for Mardi Gras.
Go Out, get your groove back
Talking about Mardi Gras, go out, get with friends and family, meet people. Personally, I would not want to go out alone lest I wind up seeing my ex in everything I do (even if we did not engage in the activity). You need a distraction and who are better distracters than friends? The park may be a good option, the movies, the games (if you can afford it), and other events. If you want some "me" time, yoga is a fulfilling activity as it not only engages your body but also your mind. Take that trip you always wanted to take but could not because you and your ex's schedules always clashed. Catch up on what you've missed while you were dedicating your life, love, sweat, and tears to that good-for-nothing... whoosah... let's get back on track. But yes, channel that inner strength, have fun, and leave no stone unturned.
After a breakup, always remember the dos and the don'ts. Do eat right, do get yourself pampered, and do expect great things in the future. On the other hand, don't call, text, or stalk your ex. Don't meet for a booty call, and, please, don't keep visiting your ex's Facebook profile. If possible avoid all social networking. Congratulations, you are officially "on the market."
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