Understanding the importance of the seven secrets and the need for using fair fighting and good communication is great-but what happens if your partner is stubborn, resistant, and refuses to play by the rules?
In some cases, you may be able to win your partner over. In others, however, you may need to seriously assess the value of your relationship.
When your relationship is struggling or has already ended due to the stubbornness of your partner, try these approaches:
• Talk: Open up to your partner and express your desire to build a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship. If you have already split up, state your desire to get back together and rebuild on a stronger foundation. Give your partner time to listen and respond. Not every relationship is salvageable, but many are if both partners work together.
• Evaluate: Once you have explained your intent and your position and listened to what your partner has to say, take the time to evaluate your situation. If you and your partner are in trouble or have split up due to minor concerns, you may be able to overcome the issues by employing the seven secrets yourself. If your problems are more serious (cheating, violence, or total lack of respect), carefully evaluate whether your decision to stay and rebuild is the right one.
• Encourage open-mindedness: If you have decided to work on your relationship, set the example by overcoming stubbornness yourself. Work on exploring all possibilities together. Learn to give and take, even on points you have been reluctant to concede in the past. Show your partner that you are willing to compromise and he or she may be willing to bend a little as well.
Stubbornness can be a major obstacle in building a healthy, strong relationship. If both you and your partner are willing to work at it, it is possible to overcome. The most important thing is to lead by example.
Depression And Other Illnesses
Depression, other forms of mental illness, and physical illnesses can all pose serious challenges to even the healthiest of couples. It can be very difficult-though not impossible-to overcome the damage they can cause to your relationship.
If both partners are willing, these issues can be overcome to save the relationship. The trick is caring for you, your partner, and your relationship as almost separate entities.
To help yourself when your partner is suffering from depression or another serious illness, remember that you are also an individual with your own needs. Studies have shown that people with partners who are depressed or physically ill can often mimic the symptoms. This is not healthy for you, your partner, or your relationship.
While it is perfectly acceptable to empathize with your partner, it's important to focus on your own health. Maintain your own identity during an illness by keeping a positive outlook and doing things to boost your mood.
To help your partner, encourage medical intervention (if necessary), maintain an upbeat attitude, and rely heavily on the secret of understanding. Your partner is going through a very difficult time and can benefit from your love and compassion. Don't enable, however-encourage your partner to get on a healthier path.
It is possible to get through a serious illness and come out stronger as a couple. Make sure medical treatment is provided and that the healthy partner stays strong and positive.
Taking care of yourself during an illness is not selfish. If you and your partner both have faith in your abilities to weather the storm, your relationship could grow even stronger in the process.
Damage control
Relationships are like roller coasters: sometimes they're up and sometimes they're down. If you are in a struggling relationship or if a split has already occurred, it may not be too late to repair the damage. It is sometimes possible to rebuild and get yourselves on a positive path.
When damage has been done to a relationship, it can take time and serious effort from both you and your partner to repair it. It is almost never impossible to rebuild trust, respect, and love. The key is determining if the effort is truly worth it and if your heart is really in it.
Before beginning the repair process, you and your partner may want to give yourselves a little time. Evaluate your situation and look at it with fresh eyes to see where you've gone wrong, what you could have done differently, and how you might proceed to create a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship. You may decide not to proceed, but if you do, here are some tips to getting back on solid footing.
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