Respond or ignore... that's the choice you have to make regarding the message you just received from a fellow member of your favorite online dating site.
It should be a relatively easy decision but which one it's going to be depends largely on how marketable your online dating profile has been. If you've been receiving a lot of attention you might just ignore the message - which has both an upside and a downside for the sender. Having a message ignored can be good if it means someone is spared an unwarranted negative remark. Then again, sometimes it's nice just to know that the other person acknowledged the effort that was put into a message, even if the interest isn't reciprocated, and a polite "thanks, good luck" response can be a really nice gesture.
Conversely, if you've been receiving a lot of attention there's a real possibility that you might get drunk off of your own ego. You might wonder why the sender thought it was okay to send you a message at all. Heck, based on the number of messages you've been receiving you qualify for outright "sexy beast" status. You might be so overwhelmed by your popularity that you question how on earth this particular person thought you were anywhere in their league. You might even get frustrated that they clogged up your inbox with their obviously misplaced message. And if you're in a really bad mood, chances are you might send a reply-message that rejects the sender so harshly that it deters them from ever wanting to respond to another online profile again.
It's true that online dating instills a certain sort of "electronic courage" in people that they might not otherwise have in person when dealing with potential suitors. It can easily be likened to the equivalent of "liquid courage" - that false bravado that guys tend to get after they've had too much alcohol to drink and are eager to entertain a fight. Same sort of concept at play when online daters are feeling their oats.
So why does online dating give people an over-inflated sense of themselves and prompt rejection? It all comes down to the filter that is the faceless internet itself. How many times have you been approached by someone in person and felt too nervous about rejecting them because you didn't know how they would react? Well, the internet provides cover that you wouldn't ordinarily enjoy in those types of situations. When someone with a profile that doesn't pass muster for you sends a message you can choose to do whatever you want with it without having to feel bad about it.
That's an interesting concept, huh? People really don't give much thought to what the person on the other side of that internet connection is going to think about a non-response or short rejection note. The internet is turning us into a very impersonal society in that regard. And the more impersonal we become the more comfortable we feel about rejecting others.
In addition, tomorrow always promises to bring a new crop of interested potentials your way so a lot of online daters choose to hedge their bets with the numbers game. The numbers game has always been a factor when it comes to dating, especially for those that don't have trouble attracting others, but the internet makes it ridiculous. There are so many members of online dating sites nowadays that even those that might not be as successful in the attraction department in person are doing relatively well on the internet. In general, when you know that you can discount someone today and still have five more potentials knocking on your door tomorrow it makes online dating a breeding ground for rejection.
The secret to success is knowing this going in. If you understand that online dating increases the likelihood of rejection for these reasons, you will fare better by playing the numbers game yourself. Okay, so the "5-Alarm Fire" hot person you emailed last week never responded. Pick your chin up off the ground and take another look at the people that have messaged you since then.
Are you sure that person you overlooked yesterday isn't Starbucks-worthy?
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