This particular question, that is finding your ideal mate is applicable to both genders, and I suspect is very much an individual thing. Is it that you've been in a relationship with someone for a long period of time and think okay it's time to get married and have children? It's the right thing to do; I'm of the right age, and ready to settle down. S/he has certain qualities which I admire, a certain frankness and brute honesty that is a rare quality these days. We've lived together for some time and there aren't too many surprises left. Is this a rationale or basis for a marriage?
I suppose I'm being something of a devil's advocate, I am certainly posing certain questions tongue in cheek. The one is a consideration of the person with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life with. I presume it's not an outmoded thought and that modern day young people are still searching for their lifetime partner. You will note that so far the article isn't telling you where to look, as this is very much a case of what you're like as an individual. It depends on the things you like doing, and the mate that you would choose. For instance if you're a fan of music and enjoy playing an instrument yourself, you may find an ideal mate by attending concerts, joining a choir, or even some sort of group.
Having spotted someone you think might fit the bill you then need to check if that person is interested in you. It's no use getting proverbial goose bumps and planning your wedding if the person of your affection is not checking for you. You need to ensure that its mutual, which is where dating, comes in. If you ask the person out on a date, and they make excuses they are not interested. If they accept the date, but have an ulterior motive, i.e. a free meal, wanted to see a particular film, etc. I would not pursue it any further. If you are already friends with the person, be careful they may simply accept as a friend.
Taking all of the above into consideration once the date goes well, and the attraction is mutual, you seriously need to consider if there is a possibility that this could be a possible romance and ultimately be the one. You should take into account physical compatibility, emotional compatibility, geographical compatibility, shared interests, mutual friends. In addition you should consider career aims and objectives, and if they have a similar sense of humour. It is vital that you both laugh at the same things.
Finally, and believe you me the list is not exhaustive there is communication. How well do you communicate with each other and how comfortable are you with the things they say to and about you. These are some of the things to consider, but essentially I believe you will know when you've found the one and it's not just the vibes!
Veronica Williams
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