Relationship Advice - Does Marriage Counseling Really Work?

Marriage takes a lot of work to keep it moving in the right direction. But even if two people love each other, they can still sometimes need a little help from an outside source, a source such as marriage counseling. But does this type of therapy really work?

Actually, marriage counseling can be quite beneficial, if it is done in the right setting. The key is finding the right therapist. You want to work with someone who is not only knowledgeable, but preferably has experience behind them.

The choice of therapist also needs to be made with mutual agreement. If, for example, your husband is adamantly against working with a female therapist, then you will need to find someone you can both agree on. This doesn't mean he automatically gets his way but the final decision on which therapist to see, needs to be mutually agreed on.

The main reason marriage counseling works or doesn't work, has a lot to do with how much effort is being put into what the therapy reveals. The therapist will undoubtedly give you homework and specific assignments that need to be carried out. These are not time-wasters: they are required of you because they serve a specific purpose in the overall counseling process.

If something is being asked of you, then do it to the best of your ability. Put your heart into it. Blowing it off as being stupid is not the right attitude to go into counseling with. If you only put in half of the effort, you will only get that much out of the therapy, in return. If you think the relationship with your partner... your marriage, is worth you going to counseling to get understanding of the difficulties, then it is worth you giving it your best shot.

A common occurrence for many couples is to leave counseling and share the results of what was covered with their friends. While this might seem harmless, it tends to draw people into taking sides. Friends may mean well, but if they don't have a degree in marriage counseling then they should not get involved. If they were that knowledgeable... then you would be paying them to counsel you, right? It is wisest to leave marriage counseling to your marriage counselor, and friendships to your friends.

Make sure once you start counseling you really give it a fair chance. If you feel the session was geared more towards making your spouse look good and making you look like the villain, then don't call it quits. In your next session, tell the counselor how you feel; then the reason behind those feelings can be explored fully.

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